More government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The common belief holds that more public funds should be allocated to
science
education
for countries’ progress. Despite some opposition, I am convinced that
this
argument is quite compelling, considering that those with sufficient knowledge about
science
can not only super the
economy
but
also
potentially save countless human lives. Some critics argue that more taxpayers’ money should not be spent on
science
education
, fearing that students may be deprived of opportunities to learn other crucial subjects. One of the major concerns is that people might lose their ability to appreciate
art
if
art
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
not sufficiently taught at school. Some even go so far as to say that humanity may risk losing
art
that has taken thousands of years to form. It is
also
pointed out that teaching history is just as important as
science
. Learning about how humans have evolved and coped with various challenges,
such
as wars and pandemics, can give students insights into the past, thereby helping students grow to be well-versed leaders. Despite these concerns, I firmly believe that more public money should be invested in
science
education
for nations’ advancements. One key reason is that
science
can stimulate the
economy
. Individuals who have learned
science
while
in school have become
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
and invented various inventions, from smartphones to spacecraft. These are just a few examples which have broadened humans’ possibilities and significantly contributed to the
economy
.
Science
can
also
lead to life-saving technology. There is no doubt that inventions,
such
as vaccinations and antibiotics, are the fruit of efforts by individuals who have learned
science
while
in school. They have saved millions of precious lives worldwide, making modern society a safer place to live. In conclusion,
although
some individuals may feel that other subjects,
such
as
art
and history, are more important, it is evident that more public funds should be invested in
science
education
.
This
is because
science
can play a vital role in stimulating the
economy
and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
countless human lives.
Submitted by danielkumanofuki on

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task achievement
Use more specific examples related to recent advancements or prominent figures in science to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for enhanced coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and provides a solid foundation for your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your points strongly.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which gives a balanced perspective.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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