IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph illustrates the amount of average
water
 usage by Australian citizens in six cities of Australia.
Whereas
, pie chart represents the percentage of
water
 consumption in different sectors in 2014. The unit of the graph is measured in
kilolitres
 per property.
Overall
, it is evident that the majority of the
water
 was consumed by residents of Perth.
Moreover
, a very large proportion of
water
 was required in Agriculture.
To begin
 with, 300
kilolitres
 of
water
 was used by each property of Perth,
however
, Brisbane came in second with 250
kilolitres
.
Furthermore
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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slightly above 150
kilolitre
Change to a plural noun
kilolitres
show examples
 was consumed by
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 of Melbourne and Canberra. Sydney accounted for exactly 200
kilolitres
 per property. It can be seen that
,
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 more than half of the
water
 was required for agricultural purposes, and at second household with only 9%
water
 consumption. The same percentage of
water
 was used for
Water
 supply, sewage ,drainage and electricity, and gas supply. A similar 8% of
water
 was distributed between manufacturing and other industries. A very small proportion was given for mining.
Submitted by merujain2221 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, kilolitres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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