IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #management #positions #salaries #workers #company
Some individuals might assume that it is only appropriate for
upper-upshigher-ups
Correct your spelling
upper-higher-ups
 in the company to receive much higher wages compared to the other employees. I am inclined to agree with
this
 notion
,;
Change the punctuation
,
;
show examples
however
, I can
also
 see why others might disagree. As we all know, occupying a higher position—like
managersmanagerial
Correct your spelling
managers managerial
 roles—comes with its own benefits and challenges. As the saying goes, "With great power, comes great responsibility." Having a senior management position is extremely difficult because individuals will be in charge of
yourtheir
Correct your spelling
your their
 departments, and you
havethey
Correct your spelling
have they
have the
 have to make sure that everything is going smoothly.
Thus
, they should receive a higher salary to compensate for what they bring to the company.
Nevertheless
, a lot of employees disagree because they often see their seniors slacking off
while
 they work for hours on end. I know for a fact that some unruly and lazy managers will just delegate their workload to their subordinates, leaving
themthe
Correct your spelling
them
 subordinates feeling miserable. These seniors usually got their positions through nepotism.
Hence
, quite a
quite high
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 amount of workers do not think that those seniors deserve a higher wage.
This
 situation is unfortunately still very common in workplaces.
Nonetheless
, senior managers who are able to do their job well
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
deserve the amount they receive.
That is
 why companies must evaluate their employees regularly to cut off people who give zero contributions. In conclusion,
while
 there may be workers who disagree with the fact that senior management positions
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have much higher salaries than other workers, I still believe that they are fairly compensated, given their positions.
Submitted by novendyevan122 on

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task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to provide stronger support for your arguments.
task achievement
Avoid the use of informal language, such as 'like' and 'slacking off,' to maintain a formal tone suited for an academic essay.
task achievement
Make sure your opinion is clearly stated in the introduction to guide your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the essay well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with paragraphs clearly dedicated to different viewpoints and providing a balance between agreeing and disagreeing perspectives.
task achievement
Good use of a famous quote to add depth and context to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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