Many people see animals as tools to be used by humans to better their lives. They believe animals should help feed us and keep us healthy by being subjects to experiments that will lead to new medications and medical processes. Others believe that animals should have the same rights to a good life as humans. Discuss both views and state your own.

#people #animals #tools #humans #lives #subjects #experiments #medications #processes #rights #life

A lot of individuals have their own perspective about

animals

as devices to be used by

people

to improve their

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

. Some argue that

animals

need to feed

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

and keep them healthy through experiments which become the subjects to research new medication and medical processes.

While some

Change preposition

Some

show examples

individuals in the opinion that

animals

supposed

Add a missing verb

are supposed

show examples

to have the same equal to a better life as

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

This

essay will discuss two statements from my perspective First of all, there are many

animals

which can be considered to help

people

to fulfil their

body

’s nutrition

such

as high percentage of protein and fat.

For example

, Wagyu cows which have the biggest protein among the other cows, have about 26

gram

Fix the agreement mistake

grams

show examples

of protein in every 100 grams

meat

Change preposition

of meat

show examples

can

Correct pronoun usage

which can

show examples

give

mor

Correct your spelling

than enough nutrition for

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body

In addition

, sometimes

animals

have a

similarities

Replace the word

similar

show examples

anatomy

with

Change preposition

show examples

human

Add an article

the human

a human

show examples

body

, so they can use it for

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

experiment

Fix the agreement mistake

experiments

show examples

project

Fix the agreement mistake

projects

show examples

to test new medicines whether

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

or not before use in the real

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

body

For instance

, white mice

usually

Add a missing verb

are usually

show examples

used as experimental material by splitting the

body

into two parts.

On the other hand

, there are some

animals

which cannot eaten by individuals

such

cat

Fix the agreement mistake

cats

show examples

and

dog

Fix the agreement mistake

dogs

show examples

due to

the fact that they have been considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pets from ancient times. As an illustration,

dog

Fix the agreement mistake

dogs

show examples

can be served as house

guard

Fix the agreement mistake

guards

show examples

and

tracker

Fix the agreement mistake

trackers

show examples

of prohibited items by smelling their scent.

Furthermore

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

several religions

are believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that

animals

are reincarnations of gods.

In particular

, Hindu

people

who considered cows as the vehicle of a god,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

worshiped

Change the spelling

worshipped

show examples

the animal and bathed it. In my view,

while

there are some

animals

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

destined to

consumed

Add a missing verb

be consumed

show examples

by a lot of societies, it is essential to make

balance

Add an article

a balance

show examples

by ensuring that ethical standards are upheld and we should minimize harm whenever possible.

Submitted by endrueliutamalo on Thu Oct 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure clarity and precision by revising certain phrases and sentences. For example, revise sentences like 'improve their live' to 'improve their lives.'

coherence cohesion

Improve the conclusion by clearly stating your position, this would enhance the overall response. Ensure the conclusion sums up the discussed points effectively.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view of both perspectives, showing comprehension of the task at hand.

coherence cohesion

Good examples are provided to support the points, such as using Wagyu cows for nutritional value and the historical significance of certain animals.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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