An increasing number of professionals such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctor #teacher #countries #work #situation

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These days, everywhere, you turn on the TV or flick through the pages of a newspaper, you see news about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

doctors and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teachers moving to other nations. The question arises in our mind, why do they leave their countries and what factors are behind it? Many

people

Use synonyms

assume that each year number of individuals leave their countries and prefer to live in other territories in order to secure their future.

However

Linking Words

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

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there are

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of factors behind it and

right

Correct article usage

the right

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desision

Correct your spelling

decision

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the perfect time, is the only solution

for

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show examples

this

Linking Words

hurdle. I will support my opinion and will give some solutions

at the end

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay.

According to

Linking Words

the experts, many doctors and

the

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apply

show examples

teachers, are

setteling

Correct your spelling

settling

abroad every year, with the purpose

to work

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of working

show examples

and secure their future.

For instance

Linking Words

, as per

report

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the report

a report

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last

Linking Words

year in Pakistan more than 1 lac youngsters and professionals left their poor

country

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, for

education

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and jobs. Even they pointed out certain reasons in their research that

forces

Correct subject-verb agreement

force

show examples

people

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to leave their territories.

Firstly

Linking Words

, in their state, they do not have proper job opportunities and

majority

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the majority

a majority

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of the seats are

occupies

Wrong verb form

occupied

show examples

the

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apply

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corrupt

people

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because there is no concept of

merit based

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merit-based

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selection.

Secondly

Linking Words

, low salaries stand high in

this

Linking Words

regard. As pay offered to

the

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apply

show examples

qualified

people

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not

according to

Linking Words

their expectations and the amount they have

spend

Change the verb form

spent

show examples

on their

education

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, during their study tenure.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the

education

Use synonyms

system of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor countries

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not that good and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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no value in the international world, which grabs

students

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students'

student's

show examples

attention towards international universities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, because of them, the

country

Use synonyms

faces many hurdles.

Likewise

Linking Words

, the state is left with fewer or no highly intellectual residents. It

also

Linking Words

results in reducing, the qualified and educated individuals in the region. Even it

risk

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risks

show examples

the image of the particular

country

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in the world as well.

Furthermore

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, It is

also

Linking Words

said that if the authorities want to take benefits from the educated residents,

then

Linking Words

they have to take sudden steps to make them stay in the

country

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. The first thing they have to do is

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they should introduce the concept of

merit based

Add a hyphen

merit-based

show examples

selection. They should offer job opportunities

becase

Correct your spelling

because

if the residents find enough jobs

with in

Correct your spelling

within

show examples

the border, they will not think about moving

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad. Apart from

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

, the authorities should make salary packages interesting for the public.

Then

Linking Words

and there, the administration will be able to make full use of them.

Hence

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, it is proven from the above arguments that sudden actions by the management will not only be helpful for them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but the population as well. No doubt population of the third-world states are facing obstacles, in their way of building their future. If they are provided with all the facilities

according to

Linking Words

their needs and

education

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

for sure they will say no to the

throughts

Correct your spelling

thoughts

that make them leave their homeland.

Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on Fri Oct 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve the coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that linking words are used to create a smoother flow between ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

While the main points are well-supported, further specific examples or statistics could strengthen the overall argument. Consider using more data or case studies to back up your assertions, especially when discussing the impact on poorer countries.

task achievement

Work on refining the clarity of ideas by avoiding grammatical errors and using a more precise vocabulary to convey your points effectively. This will enhance the overall readability and persuasiveness of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion of your essay are well-structured, providing a clear beginning and end to your argument.

task achievement

Your essay successfully addresses both parts of the task, identifying problems and proposing solutions.

task achievement

You have included relevant points about the challenges faced by poorer countries due to the migration of professionals.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

489 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Brain drain
Human capital
Economic development
Financial incentives
Global cooperation
Knowledge transfer
Capacity-building
Inequality
Human resources
Retention strategies
Healthcare infrastructure
Educational infrastructure
Professional migration
Skilled workforce

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An increasing number of professionals such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the modern world. it is no longer neccesary to use animals as food and in other products like clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that a new language should be invented for people from different countries to use for international communication. Do the advantages outweigh its drawbacks?

Some people believe that the only purpose for anyone to learn a second language is to travel or work abroad. Others argue that this is not the only purpose why someone needs to learn a second language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

In many developing countries today, air pollution is a major issue. What are the causes and what measures could be taken to prevent this problem in the future

Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their countries, such as the unemployed and homeless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?