An increasing number of professionals such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

These days, everywhere, you turn on the TV or flick through the pages of a newspaper, you see news about
the
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doctors and
the
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teachers moving to other nations. The question arises in our mind, why do they leave their countries and what factors are behind it? Many
people
assume that each year number of individuals leave their countries and prefer to live in other territories in order to secure their future.
However
, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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there are
numbers
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number
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of factors behind it and
right
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the right
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desision
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decision
on
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at
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the perfect time, is the only solution
for
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to
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this
hurdle. I will support my opinion and will give some solutions
at the end
of
this
essay.
According to
the experts, many doctors and
the
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teachers, are
setteling
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settling
abroad every year, with the purpose
to work
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of working
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and secure their future.
For instance
, as per
report
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the report
a report
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,
last
year in Pakistan more than 1 lac youngsters and professionals left their poor
country
, for
education
and jobs. Even they pointed out certain reasons in their research that
forces
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force
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people
to leave their territories.
Firstly
, in their state, they do not have proper job opportunities and
majority
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the majority
a majority
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of the seats are
occupies
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occupied
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by
the
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corrupt
people
because there is no concept of
merit based
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merit-based
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selection.
Secondly
, low salaries stand high in
this
regard. As pay offered to
the
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qualified
people
,
are
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is
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not
according to
their expectations and the amount they have
spend
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spent
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on their
education
, during their study tenure.
Additionally
, the
education
system of
the
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poor countries
are
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is
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not that good and
have
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has
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no value in the international world, which grabs
students
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students'
student's
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attention towards international universities.
Moreover
, because of them, the
country
faces many hurdles.
Likewise
, the state is left with fewer or no highly intellectual residents. It
also
results in reducing, the qualified and educated individuals in the region. Even it
risk
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risks
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the image of the particular
country
in the world as well.
Furthermore
, It is
also
said that if the authorities want to take benefits from the educated residents,
then
they have to take sudden steps to make them stay in the
country
. The first thing they have to do is
that
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they should introduce the concept of
merit based
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merit-based
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selection. They should offer job opportunities
becase
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because
if the residents find enough jobs
with in
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within
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the border, they will not think about moving
to
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abroad. Apart from
it
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that
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, the authorities should make salary packages interesting for the public.
Then
and there, the administration will be able to make full use of them.
Hence
, it is proven from the above arguments that sudden actions by the management will not only be helpful for them
,
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but the population as well. No doubt population of the third-world states are facing obstacles, in their way of building their future. If they are provided with all the facilities
according to
their needs and
education
,
then
for sure they will say no to the
throughts
Correct your spelling
thoughts
that make them leave their homeland.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that linking words are used to create a smoother flow between ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
While the main points are well-supported, further specific examples or statistics could strengthen the overall argument. Consider using more data or case studies to back up your assertions, especially when discussing the impact on poorer countries.
task achievement
Work on refining the clarity of ideas by avoiding grammatical errors and using a more precise vocabulary to convey your points effectively. This will enhance the overall readability and persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are well-structured, providing a clear beginning and end to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses both parts of the task, identifying problems and proposing solutions.
task achievement
You have included relevant points about the challenges faced by poorer countries due to the migration of professionals.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Human capital
  • Economic development
  • Financial incentives
  • Global cooperation
  • Knowledge transfer
  • Capacity-building
  • Inequality
  • Human resources
  • Retention strategies
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Educational infrastructure
  • Professional migration
  • Skilled workforce
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