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Band 1.5

Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #method #education #job
Sending
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 to
prison
 it's as result of their criminal actions, they got there because they committed acts when they
know
Wrong verb form
knew
show examples
 the law
punishes
Wrong verb form
punished
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. I disagree, because there are many
criminal
Change to a plural noun
criminals
show examples
 who have
a high certificates
Correct the article-noun agreement
a high certificate
high certificates
show examples
however
 they committed it, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job can help them
then
 why
they
Add a missing verb
do they
show examples
 engage in
crimial
Correct your spelling
criminal
 acts from the beginning? The best
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to crime deterrence is
isolate
Fix the infinitive
to isolate
show examples
 them from society to give them
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to think about their
behavor
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 and crimes, and
this
 is the purpose of
prison
. The government provide support to some of the criminals after they
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
 their
prison
 term, like
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 them a new name and jobs and some financial support, and
this
 method like
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 them another chance after the
prison
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will help prevent them from committing the crime again after experiencing the punishment.
Submitted by atheer on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay needs a clearer introduction and conclusion. State your position clearly at the beginning and sum up your points at the end.
supported main points
Develop your main ideas with more specific examples or evidence. Explaining how education and job training could prevent crime would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear stance, disagreeing with the idea that education and job training are better than prison.
task achievement
You mention the idea of providing support to criminals after prison, which shows an understanding of different methods of rehabilitation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Incarceration
  • Reintegration
  • Vocational training
  • Root causes
  • Deterrence
  • Cost-effective
  • Societal reintegration
  • Employment opportunities
  • Stable income
  • Criminal behavior
  • Rehabilitative methods
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