Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #method #education #job

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Sending

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

it's as result of their criminal actions, they got there because they committed acts when they

know

Wrong verb form

knew

show examples

the law

punishes

Wrong verb form

punished

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. I disagree, because there are many

criminal

Change to a plural noun

criminals

show examples

who have

a high certificates

Correct the article-noun agreement

a high certificate

high certificates

show examples

however

Linking Words

they committed it, if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education and

the

Correct article usage

show examples

job can help them

then

Linking Words

why

they

Add a missing verb

do they

show examples

engage in

crimial

Correct your spelling

criminal

acts from the beginning? The best

ways

Fix the agreement mistake

way

show examples

to crime deterrence is

isolate

Fix the infinitive

to isolate

show examples

them from society to give them

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to think about their

behavor

Correct your spelling

behaviour

and crimes, and

this

Linking Words

is the purpose of

prison

Use synonyms

. The government provide support to some of the criminals after they

finished

Wrong verb form

finish

show examples

their

prison

Use synonyms

term, like

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

them a new name and jobs and some financial support, and

this

Linking Words

method like

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

them another chance after the

prison

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will help prevent them from committing the crime again after experiencing the punishment.

Submitted by atheer on Fri Oct 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay needs a clearer introduction and conclusion. State your position clearly at the beginning and sum up your points at the end.

supported main points

Develop your main ideas with more specific examples or evidence. Explaining how education and job training could prevent crime would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

You have a clear stance, disagreeing with the idea that education and job training are better than prison.

task achievement

You mention the idea of providing support to criminals after prison, which shows an understanding of different methods of rehabilitation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

141 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Recidivism
Rehabilitation
Incarceration
Reintegration
Vocational training
Root causes
Deterrence
Cost-effective
Societal reintegration
Employment opportunities
Stable income
Criminal behavior
Rehabilitative methods

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons behind this view? What are the solutions to change it?
It is widely argued that global tourism has a negative impact on various aspects of the local countries. This essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind this negative view before outlining several viable solutions that should be adopted to tackle this problem.
6.5
band
Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Other people think that it is a fault of the parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion
In recent years, an increasing number of individuals in wealthy countries have been grappling with health problems stemming from obesity. Among these individuals, the escalating rate of overweight youths has emerged as a critical issue. In my view, the government shoulders the primary responsibility for this problem, rather than parents. In the following sections, I will present a comprehensive discussion.
7.5
band
Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Numerous people claim, that money rules the world and the majority of individuals prefer to opt for an unloved job with a high income instead of exploring themselves and passing through this limited lifetime alongside a beloved occupation. Some people believe this has become more common due to deep social involvement and unfairly raised living wages in recent years, however, the consequences resulting from such accidents are deplorable for both - the employer and the employee.
7
band
Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often argued that excessive improvement in technology is considered an indispensable factor in our lives, consequently, the unemployment rate has increased. Although I agree that technology has made a great impact in the industry, I believe that we cannot dispense with the human element in the work.
5.5
band
You recently sent some documents by post, but they did not arrive. Write a letter to the post manager. In your letter Give details of the situation Describe the documents Say what action you want the post office to take.
The reason I am writing to you is regarding a set of paperwork which I sent through your postal services on 15th June from Surrey Central Post office. I sent it to my family in India but they have not received it yet.

Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons behind this view? What are the solutions to change it?

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Other people think that it is a fault of the parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You recently sent some documents by post, but they did not arrive. Write a letter to the post manager. In your letter Give details of the situation Describe the documents Say what action you want the post office to take.