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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the graph below shows the comsumption of meat in Spain between 2001 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons whrere relevant.

the graph below shows the comsumption of meat in Spain between 2001 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons whrere relevant.
#comsumption #meat #spain #summarise #information #features #comparisons #whrere
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The line graph demonstrates percentages of meat eaten by Spanish
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2001 to 2010. In 2001, beef was the most popular meat, recording 700 grams per person per week, followed by duck,
chicken
Use synonyms
, pork, veal and
goat
Use synonyms
 which
weely
Correct your spelling
weekly
show examples
 consumption was about 500, 450, 300, 200 and 100 grams per person, respectively. It seems that
Correct article usage
the popularities
show examples
popularities
Replace the word
popularity
show examples
 of
chicken
Use synonyms
 and pork had been raised drastically, especially
Use synonyms
chicken
Correct word choice
since chicken
show examples
 consumption became nearly doubled throughout the decade,
450
Change preposition
from 450
show examples
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 to 900
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 beef had been
lose
Change the verb form
losing
lost
show examples
 its portion from 700 to 490
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, veal and
goat
Use synonyms
 usage remained nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 during the
perion
Correct your spelling
period
person
, except for
fluctuation
Correct article usage
a fluctuation
show examples
 in 2005 for
Use synonyms
goat
Fix the agreement mistake
goats
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the increasing consumption of
chicken
Use synonyms
 and pork made it
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and second preferred meat in Spain and
dropping
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 beef and duck to third and
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
 place,
while
Linking Words
 veal and
goat
Use synonyms
 maintained the same place
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to 2001.
Submitted by semimama on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chicken, goat with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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