IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word
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The four bar charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 comparisons between
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 countries (
France
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 ) about the age structure of the residents in four categories in the year 1984 .
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the house repairs experienced a
down ward
Correct your spelling
downward
show examples
trend
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 cooking showed an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 throughout the period.
Both
Use synonyms
 pet care and cleaning rates had some fluctuations. In 1984 ,
Both
Use synonyms
 French and Indian were most significant part
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the cooking showed an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 throughout the period
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 approximately for 85 ,
while
Linking Words
 house repairs experienced a downward
trend
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 genders women
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
approximately accounted for 5 and men were accounted for 20 . Per care remains stable in
both
Use synonyms
 countries for ladies at exactly 20 .
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of males and females who do housework cleaning the rates had fluctuations in
France
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
. In
France
Use synonyms
cleaning
Correct article usage
the cleaning
show examples
 rate was lower than
Use synonyms
India
Change preposition
in India
show examples
 for women,
in contrast
Linking Words
 for men who do
cleaning
Add an article
the cleaning
show examples
 in
India
Use synonyms
 was the higher than
Use synonyms
France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
rate 's
Change preposition
rate of
show examples
 40 ,
while
Linking Words
 in
India
Use synonyms
 accounted approximately for 45.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, india, trend, both with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population distribution
  • Age structure
  • Pyramid shape
  • Elderly population
  • Birth rate
  • Life expectancy
  • Healthcare quality
  • Working-age population
  • Gender distribution
  • Age brackets
  • Age dependency ratio
  • Absolute numbers
  • Substantial number
  • Broad base
  • Balanced
  • Tilted in favor
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