In the past people liked to store knowledge in books. However, in the present, we prefer to store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #store #books #internet

The number of people using the network for

searching

Verb problem

apply

show examples

information

increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

day by day.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there are some negative effects of using the internet

instead

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

books to find

information

, I believe it has more

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

effects than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative ones. Using

network

Correct article usage

a network

show examples

for finding

a specific

Remove the article

specific information

a piece of specific information

show examples

information

is the easiest way but the problem is it is hard to be sure whether the findings are true. Most of the time users have

hard

Correct article usage

a hard

show examples

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

to find

Change the verb form

finding

show examples

reliable sources.

For example

according to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

googles

Fix the agreement mistake

Google

show examples

resuts

Correct your spelling

results

on fourth of the May 2024, there

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

124784 different

page

Change to a plural noun

pages

show examples

that

include

Change the verb form

includes

show examples

the result of the

guestion

Correct your spelling

question

" Are

suplements

Correct your spelling

supplements

good for people?". And 65% of these pages

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

it is not healthy

while

others say it is good. In

this

situation

Add a comma

situation,

show examples

people can confused about which result is the true one.Finding reliable sources

Change preposition

show examples

the internet is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

important issue that should be solved immediately.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

lots of valuable

information

are

avaliable

Correct your spelling

available

in the network.

For instance

, in the

past

Add a comma

past,

show examples

if someone wanted to read an article

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

published by Harvard University

this

person had to go

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

Harvard University library to

accesss

Correct your spelling

access

the article and

also

sometimes had to pay for it. But nowadays everyone can

reach

Verb problem

access

show examples

any

information

around the world

Change preposition

with

show examples

just a click in minutes. In conclusion,

while

acknowledgeing

Correct your spelling

acknowledging

that there are some drawbacks of using

Add an article

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

instead

of books for learning new things, it is certain that there are more

beneficts

Correct your spelling

benefits

than its disadvantages.

Submitted by e.yildizhundur on Sat Oct 12 2024

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task achievement

Your essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, but try to delve deeper into how the positives outweigh the negatives. This will strengthen your position and make your task response more complete.

coherence cohesion

Try to make sure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

Incorporate more supporting examples, potentially with specific data or cases, to back up your main points and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well, providing a good structure.

task achievement

You address a key issue with the reliability of internet sources, showing a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

accessibility
digital storage
environmental impact
information overload
reliable sources
reputable authors
searchability
contradictory information
physical space
knowledge preservation
publishing standards
digital divide

What to do next:

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In the past people liked to store knowledge in books. However, in the present, we prefer to store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty.

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Which one do you think is the most important?

Some people believe that serious environmental problems can be solved by technological inventions and developments. Others think otherwise, saying that consuming less and having a simpler lifestyle is the way to go. Discuss and give your opinion.[386]

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What do you think is the reason for this, and is it a good thing or a bad thing?