IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to bank manager about some problemm relatad to your bank account. Explain — i, The whole problem in detail is What has led to search a situation Also, make a reguest to overcome this problem at the earliest as possilve

#bank #manager #problemm #relatad #account #detail #search #situation #reguest #possilve
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir/Madam Hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to tell you
a
Change preposition
about a
show examples
problem which I
am
Verb problem
have
show examples
 currently facing with my bank account
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
week. Actually, when I
open
Wrong verb form
opened
show examples
 my personal banking I
could
Verb problem
was
show examples
 not able to see my current balance and
besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am not able to transfer my money to my father.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sent me money two days ago that amount is
also
Linking Words
 not reflected in my account.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 letter. I am going to attach my all personal details
along with
Linking Words
 my bank details ,personal net banking customer ID and password.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,if possible please hold
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all current transactions on my debit and credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 because I do not want to
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 my
hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
show examples
 money with
this
Linking Words
 problem which I am currently facing. hopeful to see a positive response from your side as soon as possible. yours sincerely, Navdeep
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The letter addresses the main issue but could elaborate more on the cause of the problem or any attempts already made to resolve it.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea, such as the problem, details, and resolution request, to enhance readability.
greeting and closing
The letter has a clear and polite introduction and closure, establishing a respectful tone throughout.
suitable writing tone
The tone is suitable for formal communication with a bank manager, maintaining professionalism.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: