In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What's the situation like in your country? What do yout think are the advantages and disvanatges of doing part-time job

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In many countries, part-time jobs are mainly done by youngsters because they
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
encouraged to do so.
This
essay will elaborate on the situations related to working
temporary
Change the adjective
temporarily
show examples
in my country
as well as
explain the
overall
the
avdantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
and disadvantages of working part-time.
To begin
with, people in India believe that
Submitted by harpreet291kaur on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical flow from one point to the next. Use transition words and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea that relates back to your main argument.
task achievement
Fully explore and explain each point you make about the advantages and disadvantages of part-time jobs in your country. You may want to give specific examples or statistics where applicable.
introduction conclusion present
You've provided a good framework for your essay by introducing the topic and mentioning that you will discuss both sides of the issue. This sets up a clear direction for your writing.
task achievement
Writing styles show a strong attempt to balance the discussion by mentioning the general topic and shifting to specifics with 'To begin with, people in India believe that...'. This is a good start to addressing the prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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