Essay topics: Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private health care outweigh the advantages?

To be honest, human health is the
basical
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basic
item for us.
Nowsaday
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Nowadays
, profit-making companies and
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
born
Verb problem
apply
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provide some medical
service
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services
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, but I prefer
to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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.
Firstly
, private healthcare has several benefits. the main one is that less queue time. If we go to the public hospital, we at least need to wait for 2 hours or more than 2 hours.
However
, we just need to use 1 hour when we choose
private
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a private
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clinic. On the other
hands
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hand
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,
it's
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its
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service is not cheap.
On
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In
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the survey, most people said that they felt expensive. But,
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the goverment
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goverment
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government
give
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gives
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some
supports
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support
show examples
to
olderly
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elderly
older
people,
for example
, they have some medical vouchers. In short, I don't think so.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task response
Your response addresses the prompt, but it could be more developed. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This helps in making your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more coherently. Use linking words and transitions to show the logical progression of your argument.
task response
You have acknowledged both the advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good for maintaining structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal healthcare
  • Profit-driven healthcare
  • Patient welfare
  • Social inequality
  • Vulnerable populations
  • Public welfare
  • Economic status
  • Revenue generation
  • Healthcare solutions
  • Advanced technology
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