The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The growth of online shopping brings us a
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
life
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
we can access
to
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apply
show examples
varies
Replace the word
various
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commodity
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commodities
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anywhere just using our
cellphone
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cell phones
show examples
. Some people
thinks
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think
show examples
that
this
would lead to all
shops
in
towns
and
cities
closing,
however
, I disagree with that. The opinion that online shopping will have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect on
shops
in
towns
and
cities
mainly
account
Correct subject-verb agreement
accounts
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on
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for
show examples
these facts. First of all, merchandise on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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are
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is
show examples
mainly cheaper than in
shops
for
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
low cost, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
more people
preferred
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prefer
show examples
buying goods online than going to
shops
.
Secondly
, shopping online is more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
than driving to the city centre where parking is always a problem.
Thirdly
, there are abundant commodity choices online, and searching is as easy as moving
the
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a
show examples
finger,
while
in
department
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a department
show examples
store or supermarket, we can hardly buy all the stuff at one time. In conclusion, online shopping is winning more and more market share, and
threaten
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threatens
show examples
the
morket
Correct your spelling
market
of
shops
in
towns
and
cities
. In my opinion, online shopping can coexist with
shops
well, and they can benefit from each other. To some extent, online shopping would never replace
shops
, especially
in particular
fields,
for example
,
service
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the service
show examples
industry
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industries
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such
as
barber's
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barber
show examples
shops
,
restaurants
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and restaurants
show examples
.
In addition
, the lower
price
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prices
show examples
online
,
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apply
show examples
will push the
shops
in
towns
to reduce the
price
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prices
show examples
while
improve
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improving
show examples
the quality, in order to attract more consumers, which would promote the development of companies. At
last
, some
shops
nowadays are not only a place to buy, but
also
a social containment for people to get together. On the whole, I think online shopping will not lead
all
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to all
show examples
shops
in
towns
and
cities
closing, but on
opposite
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the opposite
show examples
, online shopping will get along well with
shops
and be
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to
shopping
Correct article usage
the shopping
show examples
market.
Submitted by 2819 on

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task achievement
Enhance your essay by including more specific examples. Using personal experiences or citing studies can make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Organize your points with clear, connected paragraphs. Make sure there's a seamless flow between ideas for better readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
task achievement
The main argument is articulated clearly, showing a satisfactory understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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