Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or dis agree with this statement.
In
this
moder
era, the growth of population is increasing rapidly. Some Correct your spelling
modern
people
say that public parks
can be used for the
different Correct article usage
apply
purposes
for example
residential areas or to develop buisness
and build economics. I agree with Correct your spelling
businesses
this
statement but up to some extent and will discuss following
.
On the one hand, public Correct article usage
the following
parks
can be used for many purposes
. The first and foremost thing is for making
Change preposition
to make
the
shelter for homeless Correct article usage
a
people
. To elaborate, with growing
population the lifestyle of poor Correct article usage
the growing
people
is getting worse. They donot
have jobs Correct your spelling
do not
for
Change preposition
to
fullfiling
their daily needs. These Correct your spelling
fulfil
people
are living on streets
because they don't have money to make Correct article usage
the streets
house
. So, Add an article
a house
the house
government
can make Add an article
the government
the
small houses for those Correct article usage
apply
people
. For example
, a survey conducted by EMO company shows that more 40
% of Change preposition
than 40
people
die in winter due to
lack of shelter.
The other reason is employment, industries or employment building
can Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
be build
Change the verb form
be built
on
Change preposition
in
parks
. In detail, every office have
thousands of Change the verb form
has
people
who comes
to work but they don't have enough space. Change the verb form
come
For example
, companies want to hire more people
for there
companies's growth, but Correct your spelling
their
there
office is Replace the word
their
every
small. So, if Correct your spelling
very
the
build Correct your spelling
they
the
companies Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
in
parks
place
more Verb problem
apply
people
will get work and this
can help them to get
their future goals.
Verb problem
achieve
However
, public parks
are very useful for old people
and childern
.In cities, Correct your spelling
children
people
are living in small areas where they don't have space for outdoor activities. Park is the only option for them but if parks
will be replaced in future. People
will find Correct pronoun usage
it difficulties
difficulties
to spend their time for outdoor Replace the word
difficult
purposes
. For instance
, old people
go for morning walks for staying
healthy and fit, Change preposition
to stay
as well as
children goes
there to play games which is beneficial for their health.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
go
parks
can be used for other purposes
such
as building business
and residential Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
aread
for providing shelter to homeless Correct your spelling
areas
area
people
Whereas
public parks
are only
option for Add an article
the only
people
who are living in small areas in cities.Submitted by kaursaijbir on
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coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphing to help guide the reader through your arguments. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines the issue and presents a balanced viewpoint, which is crucial for a task response.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, addressing both the need for residential and business development, and the importance of public parks.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points and presents a clear, balanced stance on the issue.
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