Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or dis agree with this statement.

In
this
moder
Correct your spelling
modern
era, the growth of population is increasing rapidly. Some
people
say that public
parks
can be used for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
purposes
for example
residential areas or to develop
buisness
Correct your spelling
businesses
and build economics. I agree with
this
statement but up to some extent and will discuss
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
. On the one hand, public
parks
can be used for many
purposes
. The first and foremost thing is
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
shelter for homeless
people
. To elaborate, with
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
population the lifestyle of poor
people
is getting worse. They
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
have jobs
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
fullfiling
Correct your spelling
fulfil
their daily needs. These
people
are living on
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
because they don't have money to make
house
Add an article
a house
the house
show examples
. So,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small houses for those
people
.
For example
, a survey conducted by EMO company shows that more
40
Change preposition
than 40
show examples
% of
people
die in winter
due to
lack of shelter. The other reason is employment, industries or employment
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
can
be build
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
parks
. In detail, every office
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
thousands of
people
who
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
to work but they don't have enough space.
For example
, companies want to hire more
people
for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
companies's growth, but
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
office is
every
Correct your spelling
very
show examples
small. So, if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
parks
place
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more
people
will get work and
this
can help them
to get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
their future goals.
However
, public
parks
are very useful for old
people
and
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.In cities,
people
are living in small areas where they don't have space for outdoor activities. Park is the only option for them but if
parks
will be replaced in future.
People
will find
Correct pronoun usage
it difficulties
show examples
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
to spend their time for outdoor
purposes
.
For instance
, old
people
go for morning walks
for staying
Change preposition
to stay
show examples
healthy and fit,
as well as
children
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
there to play games which is beneficial for their health. In conclusion,
parks
can be used for other
purposes
such
as building
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and residential
aread
Correct your spelling
areas
area
for providing shelter to homeless
people
Whereas
public
parks
are
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
option for
people
who are living in small areas in cities.
Submitted by kaursaijbir on

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coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphing to help guide the reader through your arguments. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines the issue and presents a balanced viewpoint, which is crucial for a task response.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, addressing both the need for residential and business development, and the importance of public parks.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points and presents a clear, balanced stance on the issue.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public parks
  • residential areas
  • economic development
  • growing population
  • balance
  • appropriate locations
  • community engagement
  • environmental sustainability
  • efficient urban planning
  • coexistence
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