ome people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Had been argued, that
video
games
may have a negative effect on
people
especifically
Correct your spelling
specifically
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers and have the capability to lessen
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
school
preformance
Correct your spelling
performance
.
On the other hand
,
video
games
can be
benaficial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for them in terms of learning
foreige
Correct your spelling
foreign
languages. I
tatally
Correct your spelling
totally
agree with the first statement as most
games
currently can enhance the
user
Change noun form
user's
show examples
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
show examples
and provide him with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
general knowledge
every
Change preposition
of every
show examples
life aspect.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the of
show examples
games
positive aspect,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
also
have a negative side as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
may cause
addiction
for the consumers. Young
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
addiction
unfortuntly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
more
prevlent
Correct your spelling
prevalent
currently. In my opinion, the most common cause of
this
phenomenon is
video
games
.Back
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the beginning of
electronics
Correct article usage
the electronics
show examples
spread
games
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
not available and
people
dependent
Add a missing verb
were dependent
show examples
on face-to-face interactions for entertainment.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
,the
addiction
for young
people
was not
knowen
Correct your spelling
known
show examples
.
However
, after it
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
most
citizents
Correct your spelling
citizens
were surprised
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the amount of dopamine that did not need any personal
interfere
Replace the word
interference
show examples
.
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
feeling generated unlimitedly was
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
matter that assessed
addiction
for young
people
.
While
people
critizim
Correct your spelling
criticism
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
it contains,
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
time, it
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
showed
has shown
show examples
a
considerble
Correct your spelling
considerable
amount of
people
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
show examples
from it in terms of
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
manner. For
examble
Correct your spelling
example
, in the United
States
Add a comma
States,
show examples
an app
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
became essential for
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
process nemed Kahoot. The scientists proved that using activities in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class
activate
Correct subject-verb agreement
activates
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
particular sections of the brain that improve memories and focus. in conclusion,
video
games
have
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and
govirnments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
tries
Wrong verb form
are trying
show examples
to come up with
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
to alter their negative effects.
However
, if you can modify your time and use it wisely, you can have
fortuntly
Correct your spelling
fortunately
benefits of it.
Submitted by ameralimise3 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your argument is consistently focused and directly addresses the prompt. For example, decide clearly whether you believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits or vice versa, and structure your essay to reinforce this.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with appropriate transitions. This will help ensure your argument flows logically from one point to the next.
task achievement
To strengthen your examples and support your main points more effectively, try to include specific evidence or scenarios, ideally ones that are particularly compelling or revealing.
task achievement
The essay addresses different perspectives on the topic of video games, acknowledging both their potential benefits and drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, structuring the discussion of video games in a clear format.
coherence cohesion
The writer introduces an example to support the benefits of video games, referring to the app Kahoot and its potential role in education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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