some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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Had been argued, that
video
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games
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may have a negative effect on
people
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specifically teenagers and have the capability to lessen their school performance.
On the other hand
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,
video
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games
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can be beneficial for them in terms of learning foreign languages. I totally agree with the first statement as most
games
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currently can enhance the user's intelligence and provide him with general knowledge of every life aspect.
Besides
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the of
games
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positive
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
, they
also
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have a negative side as they may cause
addiction
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for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers. Young
people
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's
addiction
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unfortunately become more prevalent currently. In my opinion, the most common cause of
this
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phenomenon is
video
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games
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.Back in the beginning of the electronics spread
games
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were not available and
people
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were dependent on face-to-face interactions for entertainment.
Furthermore
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,the
addiction
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for young
people
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was not known.
However
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, after it spread most citizens were surprised by the amount of dopamine that did not need any personal interference. joyful feeling generated unlimitedly was a major matter that assessed
addiction
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for young
people
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.
While
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people
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criticism
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criticise
show examples
the negative aspects it contains, over time, it has shown a considerable amount of
people
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benefit from it in terms of education manner.
For example
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, in the United States, an app that became essential for the education process
nemed
Correct your spelling
named
need
Kahoot. The scientists proved that using activities in class activates particular sections of the brain that improve memories and focus. in conclusion,
video
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games
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have become an essential part of our lives and governments are trying to come up with solutions to alter their negative effects.
However
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, if you can modify your time and use it wisely, you can have fortunately
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
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it. Some
people
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regard
video
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games
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as
useful
Add an article
a useful
show examples
educational tool. Others,
however
Linking Words
, believe that
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
are having an adverse effect on the
people
Use synonyms
who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
outweigh the benefits?
Submitted by ameralimise3 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider refining your paragraphs so that each one clearly addresses a single point or argument, ensuring that your ideas are developed logically.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more transitional words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument, ensuring more fluidity and cohesion between sections.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to substantiate your claims about the impact of video games on education and addiction.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, agreeing with the statement that video games have negative effects.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Interactivity
  • Motivational
  • Educational software
  • Game-based learning
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Social interaction
  • Learning outcomes
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Addictive behavior
  • Inappropriate content
  • Health repercussions
  • Multimedia tools
  • Critical analysis
  • Virtual environments
  • User engagement
  • Psychosocial impacts
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