The diagram below shows how one type of coal is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selectting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram below shows how one type of coal is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selectting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
The diagram
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
the information about the process of the production of
electricity
. It
also
depicts that a special kind of coal is used for it.
However
, over
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
it tells us
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how coal
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
extracted from mines and sent to industries in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
of
electricity
. Moving to the process, coals are first extracted from mines.
Than
Replace the word
Then
show examples
they are crushed and loaded in the
trusks
Correct your spelling
trucks
and
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
to
gassifiers
Correct your spelling
gasifiers
. After a huge
process
Add a comma
process,
show examples
the solid water is
seprated
Correct your spelling
separated
and gas is
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
to coolers. Here in
coolers
Add a comma
coolers,
show examples
it is stored for some days.
Moreover
, it
is later send
Change the verb form
is later sent
show examples
to gas power plants, where after
seprating
Correct your spelling
separating
heat waste from the gas, it is converted
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
electricity
.
This
electricity
is
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
to houses and industries for use. In conclusion, it is true that countries are experimenting
new
Change preposition
with new
show examples
things to generate light. Light from coal is
Correct article usage
the formost
show examples
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
choice of the nations.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
India is the one who has generated tons of light from coal.
Therefore
, Pakistan is next in line.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: