Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,everyone is fond of
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
.you
Correct your spelling
You
can see
Correct article usage
a playstation
show examples
playstation
Correct your spelling
PlayStation
in every
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
home.
Linking Words
although
Capitalize word
Although
show examples
playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
is not a bad thing to do completely ,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can help in academics as there are some
games
Use synonyms
which are made
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
this
Linking Words
, providing entertainment
as well as
Linking Words
knowledge at the same
time
Use synonyms
.as far as I m concerned,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
have both pros and cons.
To begin
Linking Words
with the pros of
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
, some
games
Use synonyms
might be helpful in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
educational way as they contain knowledge in a funny way which can help kids to memorize for a long
time
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
- there are some
quiz
Fix the agreement mistake
quizzes
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if a child
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
it and wom the game he may enter to another level ,which can grow both
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
and excitement of a kid.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Talking about the consequences of playing
games
Use synonyms
it might be addictive to people to play
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
and
distract
Wrong verb form
distracted
show examples
completely from their work .as playing
games
Use synonyms
will result in
realese
Correct your spelling
release
of dopamine which will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come as boredom if
a
Change the article
an
show examples
individual study or work after having fun with online
games
Use synonyms
.
as a result
Linking Words
the person cannot
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their work. In conclusion,I would say that playing
games
Use synonyms
might be good and helpful for kids but
also
Linking Words
can distract them completely from their physical health and social
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
as they would not like to spend much
time
Use synonyms
with people and they don't get any interest in their academic learnings.
however
Linking Words
a timer or screen
time
Use synonyms
can get better
Linking Words
this circumstances
Change the determiner
this circumstance
these circumstances
show examples
Submitted by raokaifxc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay clearly. Consider using clear paragraphs and topic sentences to guide the reader through your ideas smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be sure to introduce the topic clearly and provide a clear outline of your main points. A brief introduction giving a balanced perspective might help set a neutral tone.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to back up your main points. This will help in demonstrating the essay's relevance and ensuring deeper engagement with the topic.
Task Achievement
Clarify your ideas more elaborately. Consider explaining both the benefits and drawbacks in greater detail, to provide a more balanced response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion serve the purpose of outlining and summarizing the main points of the essay. Keep developing this skill; it's an important part of structuring your work effectively.
Task Achievement
You've addressed the task with a balanced viewpoint. This approach shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Interactivity
  • Motivational
  • Educational software
  • Game-based learning
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Social interaction
  • Learning outcomes
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Addictive behavior
  • Inappropriate content
  • Health repercussions
  • Multimedia tools
  • Critical analysis
  • Virtual environments
  • User engagement
  • Psychosocial impacts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: