Some people suggest that the government should spend money putting more works of art like paintings and statues into towns and cities to make them attractive places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Many people
said
that it is necessary for the Wrong verb form
say
government
to allocate money
for paintings and statues in cities
to make them more attractive. It is true that investing money
in putting works of art into cities
can add some aesthetic touches to them ,Correct word choice
but i
i
argue that there are still other things that Change the capitalization
I
government
should put money
on to enhance the beauty
of cities
.
It is reasonable that the government
spend money
putting artwork which can make cities
great attractions. Around the world, there are some internationally famous works of art which require a great amount of creativity, time, effort and resources. Therefore
, all of these pieces can definitely increase attractiveness
of Add an article
the attractiveness
cities
, which is totally worth the money
and bring
the Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
beauty
of art closer to the public . Besides
this
, investing money
in artworks may add a more aesthetic touch to cities
. Moreover
, among those works, there may be some that become an iconic feature and attract tourists.
Although
allocating money
on artworkartworks
to add Correct your spelling
artwork
aesthetic
touch to Add an article
an aesthetic
cities
to some extent, it is still not enough to make cities
have
more Unnecessary verb
apply
attractiveness
. Replace the word
attractive
Therefore
, the government
should put more money
in
building infrastructures Change preposition
into
such
as roads, bridges and buildings. For example
, in Vietnam, when people talk about some great bridge buildings, it should be Da Nang which is called the City of Brigdes
, Correct your spelling
Bridges
this
is not because Dan Nang has many bridges , it is about the beauty
that those bridges bring to the city. Besides
this
, it is also
important to build green space for the cities
such
as parks and gardens which can bring a sense of becoming closer to nature .
In conclusion, while
it is true that there are many benefits when investing in artworks to make cities
more attractive such
as adding an aesthetic touch to cities
, bringing beauty
closer to the public and attracting tourists, i
still think that putting Change the capitalization
I
money
in other things is a better way to improve the beauty
of cities
including building infrastrures and expanding green space.Submitted by midden-02.tore on
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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph supports its main point with clear and precise evidence or explanation. This can involve providing more specific examples or elaborating on why certain ideas matter.
task achievement
Improve clarity of the arguments by ensuring each argument is fully explained and linked to the question. Consider how each paragraph contributes to your overall stance.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen coherence by ensuring all ideas are directly related and contribute to your conclusion. Consider using more linking words to articulate the connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an effective introduction and conclusion which clearly establish and then summarize your position on the issue.
task achievement
You provide a reasonable discussion about the allocation of government funds for the enhancement of city attractiveness, showing relevance to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a logical structure with clearly divided paragraphs, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example