Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #tool #effect

One of the most controversial topics today relates to whether

video

games

are pedagogically

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

wether

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

they do more harm than good. In

this

essay, I elaborate on the reasons why I strongly

beieve

Correct your spelling

believe

the disadvantages far prevail over the advantages in

this

regard. On the one hand, the main negative aspect of enjoying

video

games

is a decline in player's physical strength.

For instance

, after the advent of

video

games

, the number of people wearing glasses has increased dramatically. As they have fewer opportunities to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise but to stay in front of a TV set than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past, their corporal strength is

also

degenerating.

As a result

, they are more susceptible to colds and commonplace diseases.

Additionally

, another demerit of playing

video

games

is that individuals lose opportunities to communicate with others in person. Some always glance at their smartphones to play

games

anywhere

while

others spend an excessive amount of time for

video

games

at home.

This

leads to a lack of face-to-face

communications

Fix the agreement mistake

communication

show examples

, and

consequently

, their interpersonal

skills

are negatively affected.

However

video

games

are of benefit to some points. Taking surgical

skills

as an example, previous studies revealed that those who have spent their time enjoying

video

games

are more proficient in performing surgery than those who do not.

This

is because some

games

demand fine motor

skills

, multidimensional

congnitive

Correct your spelling

cognitive

abilities, and swift movements to achieve good scores. In conclusion, I definitely think that despite its educational effects

such

as improving hand movements and cognitive capacities, the benefits of

video

games

outweigh the drawbacks in terms of deteriorating player's physical strength and

imparing

Correct your spelling

impairing

imparting

their communication

skills

Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on Wed Oct 16 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your points, especially under the paragraph about the negative effects of video games on physical health. Detailed examples help in illustrating your arguments better.

coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, consider reviewing some of the transitions between ideas. While your structure is generally logical, clearer connectors between paragraphs can make the narration smoother and more cohesive.

introduction conclusion present

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the central argument about the impact of video games.

supported main points

Your argument about the advantages and disadvantages of video games is well-supported by contrastive points, providing a balanced view of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive development
Strategic thinking
Hand-eye coordination
Interactivity
Motivational
Educational software
Game-based learning
Sedentary lifestyle
Social interaction
Learning outcomes
Digital literacy
Attention span
Addictive behavior
Inappropriate content
Health repercussions
Multimedia tools
Critical analysis
Virtual environments
User engagement
Psychosocial impacts

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Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many places,new homes are needed but the only space available for them is countryside.some people believe it is more important to protect the country side and not build new homes there.what is your opinion about this?

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.