Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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One of the most controversial topics today relates to whether
video
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games
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are pedagogically
benefitial
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beneficial
or
wether
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whether
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they do more harm than good. In
this
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essay, I elaborate on the reasons why I strongly
beieve
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believe
the disadvantages far prevail over the advantages in
this
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regard.  On the one hand, the main negative aspect of enjoying
video
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games
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is a decline in player's physical strength.
For instance
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, after the advent of
video
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games
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, the number of people wearing glasses has increased dramatically. As they have fewer opportunities to
do
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apply
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exercise but to stay in front of a TV set than
the
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in the
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past, their corporal strength is
also
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degenerating.  
As a result
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, they are more susceptible to colds and commonplace diseases.
Additionally
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, another demerit of playing
video
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games
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is that individuals lose opportunities to communicate with others in person. Some always glance at their smartphones to play
games
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anywhere
while
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others spend an excessive amount of time for
video
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games
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at home.
This
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leads to a lack of face-to-face
communications
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communication
show examples
, and
consequently
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, their interpersonal
skills
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are negatively affected. 
However
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,
video
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games
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are of benefit to some points. Taking surgical
skills
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as an example, previous studies revealed that those who have spent their time enjoying
video
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games
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are more proficient in performing surgery than those who do not.
This
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is because some
games
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demand fine motor
skills
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, multidimensional
congnitive
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cognitive
abilities, and swift movements to achieve good scores. In conclusion, I definitely think that despite its educational effects
such
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as improving hand movements and cognitive capacities, the benefits of
video
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games
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 outweigh the drawbacks in terms of deteriorating player's physical strength and
imparing
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impairing
imparting
their communication
skills
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.
Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your points, especially under the paragraph about the negative effects of video games on physical health. Detailed examples help in illustrating your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, consider reviewing some of the transitions between ideas. While your structure is generally logical, clearer connectors between paragraphs can make the narration smoother and more cohesive.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the central argument about the impact of video games.
supported main points
Your argument about the advantages and disadvantages of video games is well-supported by contrastive points, providing a balanced view of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Interactivity
  • Motivational
  • Educational software
  • Game-based learning
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Social interaction
  • Learning outcomes
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Addictive behavior
  • Inappropriate content
  • Health repercussions
  • Multimedia tools
  • Critical analysis
  • Virtual environments
  • User engagement
  • Psychosocial impacts
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