Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
One of the most controversial topics today relates to whether
video
games
are pedagogically benefitial
or Correct your spelling
beneficial
wether
they do more harm than good. In Correct your spelling
whether
this
essay, I elaborate on the reasons why I strongly beieve
the disadvantages far prevail over the advantages in Correct your spelling
believe
this
regard.
On the one hand, the main negative aspect of enjoying video
games
is a decline in player's physical strength. For instance
, after the advent of video
games
, the number of people wearing glasses has increased dramatically. As they have fewer opportunities to do
exercise but to stay in front of a TV set than Unnecessary verb
apply
the
past, their corporal strength is Change preposition
in the
also
degenerating. As a result
, they are more susceptible to colds and commonplace diseases.
Additionally
, another demerit of playing video
games
is that individuals lose opportunities to communicate with others in person. Some always glance at their smartphones to play games
anywhere while
others spend an excessive amount of time for video
games
at home. This
leads to a lack of face-to-face communications
, and Fix the agreement mistake
communication
consequently
, their interpersonal skills
are negatively affected.
However
, video
games
are of benefit to some points. Taking surgical skills
as an example, previous studies revealed that those who have spent their time enjoying video
games
are more proficient in performing surgery than those who do not. This
is because some games
demand fine motor skills
, multidimensional congnitive
abilities, and swift movements to achieve good scores.
In conclusion, I definitely think that despite its educational effects Correct your spelling
cognitive
such
as improving hand movements and cognitive capacities, the benefits of video
games
outweigh the drawbacks in terms of deteriorating player's physical strength and imparing
their communication Correct your spelling
impairing
imparting
skills
.Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your points, especially under the paragraph about the negative effects of video games on physical health. Detailed examples help in illustrating your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, consider reviewing some of the transitions between ideas. While your structure is generally logical, clearer connectors between paragraphs can make the narration smoother and more cohesive.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the central argument about the impact of video games.
supported main points
Your argument about the advantages and disadvantages of video games is well-supported by contrastive points, providing a balanced view of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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