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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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Undoubtedly, working at
this
time
 is becoming harder
due to
 the company's compulsory,
While
 it is a commonly held belief that employees should reword with longer weekends as their hard-working. There is
also
 an argument that opposes it. From my perspective, I consider that
workers
 should take more vacations to improve their mental health.
To begin
 with, improving mental health requires
workers
 to relax and chill. It is
also
 possible to say that well-being comes from relaxation.
Moreover
, it enhances the capability of flexible
work
 and job satisfaction.
Furthermore
, the ability to spend more
time
 with their families and friends will improve.
For example
, there is a study showed that 68% of companies today are focusing on redeveloping their duty
time
 so their
workers
 have more
time
 doing their hobbies and staying relaxed. Another point to consider is the benefits reaching not only the employees But
also
 the company itself.
For instance
, the majority of companies are requesting active
workers
, and they have to apply the idea of minimal
work
 days
due to
workers
 complaining about their mental anxiety.
Moreover
, almost all of the associations in the world today have started to develop their jobs and make them online
due to
 the worker's comfort. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that it is significant to improve flexible
work
time
 for
workers
' mental health.
However
, most of the associations today are successful flexibilities in duty
work
 by developing them into online
work
.
Submitted by ferasmirza11 on

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content
Use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
structure
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs for better flow.
content
Address counter-arguments briefly to acknowledge different perspectives.
language
Clarify some complex sentence structures for easier understanding.
intro
The introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, clearly stating your viewpoint.
content
You provided multiple reasons to support your opinion, making your argument persuasive.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your perspective.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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