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Band 5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#people #career #path #lives #life #change #jobs
At the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 beginning
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would to express how suitable
work
 is important,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
suitable
work
 means
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
 which portrays your abilities and
enhanced
Wrong verb form
enhances
show examples
 them , and shifting your
career
 earlier is the best way to determine your goals and for sure it is better than remaining in the same
work
 your hall life without ambitious goals, but even
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider path
career
 is the best solution to achieve a great dream, I will discuss both sides the advantages and disadvantages. First of all the advantages are many
however
 the most important thing is finding your way of creation, to be unique in your specific area, no doubt that when someone decided to change his or her
career
, he did not find himself in that field,
furthermore
 you will gain lots of experiences and knowing new and different people,
also
 it reflects how brave you are when you start again from scratch does not care about what you left. the disadvantages are
also
 many, but let me discuss the important one, shifting your
career
 could make you unstable condition especially if you are responsible for a family and kids, rather than it could keep you waiting for a long time till you find a suitable
career
 for you and cause a huge trouble with paying bells.
last
 but not least, changing your
career
 is a wonderful step but you should think twice before you decide it, think about the circumstances which could happen after you make
this
 decision, focus on your goal and ambition and remember that never give up,
however
, the hopeless things seem to be.
Submitted by Mido  on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses the main task effectively. Add more specific examples to substantiate your points, making your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs and ensure each paragraph covers a single main idea. The essay should have a logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You've touched upon both sides of the argument, considering the advantages and disadvantages of changing careers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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