In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
as valuable and fertile lands suitable for agriculture. Lake of people who work on these lands leads to
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
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in
crops
Change the noun form
crop
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production.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
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industry
face
Change the verb form
faces
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a problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
problems
a problem
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in order to
providing
Change the verb
provide
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people with crops.
Body paragraph 3
Secondly
Linking Words
, emigration from
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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to metropolitan areas
lead
Change the verb form
leads
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to
skyrocket
Correct article usage
a skyrocket
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rise in population.
This
Linking Words
overpopulation applies constrained access to facilities, which is disturbing
everyday
Correct article usage
the everyday
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life of the folks.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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population increases job demand and job seekers encounter major challenges .
Conclusion
In conclusion, I once again
reaffirming
Wrong verb form
reaffirm
show examples
my position that severe setbacks are received from relocating individuals who belong to rural areas to cities. Upset the delicate balance in both regions .
rezaei.rezvan94
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task achievement
To achieve a higher band score, ensure that your arguments are clearly defined and supported with specific examples. This can help structure your essay more effectively, making your ideas clearer to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving cohesion by using linking phrases to connect your ideas and arguments. Also, make sure your essay follows a logical progression from one point to the next.
task achievement
You have identified some valid points discussing the impact of urban migration on both rural and urban areas. This shows an understanding of the topic's complexity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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