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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. nb

The chart shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. nb
#percentage #households #accommodation #england #wales #summarise #information #features #comparisons #nb
The bar chart below gives information on households in owned and rented places in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.
It is clear that
 rented and owned
accommodation
 had
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 difference in
percentage
 more over the highest was owned, the lowest eas rented over the period. From 1918 to 2011 was
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
 difference in owned and rented accommodations. In 1918 households in rented
accommodation
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest about 78 per cent
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
over
Change preposition
than
show examples
 households in owned
accommodation
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest about 23 per cent. From 1918 to 1939
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the difference
like
Change preposition
between
show examples
 owned places increased,
rented
Correct word choice
and rented
show examples
 places decreased.
After
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1939 to 1959 was the same value. In 1971 owned and rented
accommodation
 were equal in one line. From 1971 to 2001 the
percentage
 of owned apartments became greater. But in the same period
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of rented apartments fell slowly.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in 2011
percentage
 of owned
accommodation
 fell down and rented grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words accommodation, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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