There has been a dramatic growth in the number of people studying at universities in the last few decades. While some people see this as a positive trend which raises the general level of education within the community, others fear that it is lowering the quality of educa''tion. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in student numbers at university?

In the
last
decades
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decades,
show examples
the number of
people
studying at universities has dramatically increased. Many individuals believe
that is
a positive trend, as it growing
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the level of education around the world,
while
others claim that the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
huge
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
the quality of education has been lowering.
However
, in
this
essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my own
opioion
Correct your spelling
opinion
opinions
. On the one hand, the huge numbers of students at universities in different countries means that a
lot
of
people
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a chance to continue their education and achieve their goals.
For example
, in the past 50
Change to a plural noun
decades
show examples
decade
Add a comma
decade,
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not all
people
were
allowing
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allowed
show examples
to study at university, it was a place for wealthy
people
only.
Additionally
, now all the
people
regardless of their background
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
get
Verb problem
go
show examples
to college in the field they chose and continue their studies.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
it will
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
the economy of their place, a
lot
of graduates that means many
workforc
Correct your spelling
workforce
.
On the other hand
, it can
also
have a several problem, as their is will be a
lot
of graduates in the same field, and
this
will have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on the country,
thus
will be many
people
without
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and increase the percentage of unemployment.
For instance
, in 2015, Egypt had the first place of the highest percentage of unemployment in the
middle east
Correct your spelling
Middle East
show examples
, as the average of students in one field
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
around 10 thousand
student
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students
show examples
. In conclusion, I firmly support the idea that the huge number of individuals at
universites
Correct your spelling
universities
university
its benefits can
be outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the drawbacks, especially
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the economic side, as it will enhance it a
lot
.
Submitted by daliaakram35 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and is logically sequenced.
Task Achievement
Try to present more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
General Language Use
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy to improve clarity.
Introduction Conclusion Present
Good introduction that sets up the discussion effectively.
Introduction Conclusion Present
Conclusion clearly summarizes the main points and presents the writer's viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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