One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?
One of the major problems faced by many urban areas is
traffic
jams. This
is mainly because many people
use their private cars
instead
of public transport in the rush hour. To tackle this
problem, governments should promote public transportations
and they can cooperate with employers to have flexible working Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
hours
for their employees.
The number of people
who having
private Change the form of the verb
have
cars
increase
significantly year by year and Wrong verb form
is increasing
this
phenomenon make
public Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
is
not quite popular. They feel more comfortable using their private Unnecessary verb
apply
cars
than public transports
because of the flexibility of it. Fix the agreement mistake
transport
Additionally
, people
travel to work and go back to
home at the same time on the weekdays. Change preposition
apply
For example
, in Jakarta, a
capital city of Indonesia, they are Correct article usage
the
going
to work usually at 8.30 am and drive Wrong verb form
go
to
home at 5.30 pm which Change preposition
apply
worsening
the Wrong verb form
worsens
traffic
congestion in
the roads. Change preposition
on
Eventhough
there are many available options of trains, buses, and metro, many Correct your spelling
Even though
people
prefer to use their own cars
in the rush hours
.
To solve this
problem, in my opinion, thera
are two viable solutions. Correct your spelling
there
Firstly
, the governments should promote public transport by increasing the quality and the quantity of the services. Moreover
, beyond the services, the governments should make sure public transportations
is cheaper than private Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
cars
. Secondly
, policy makers
can coordinate with employers to arrange flexible working Correct your spelling
policymakers
hours
or hybrid working scheme
. Despite preventing the Fix the agreement mistake
schemes
traffic
jams, these solutions will reduce stress
of the Add an article
the stress
people
who live in metropolis
area.
In Correct article usage
the metropolis
conlusion
, plenty numbers of private Correct your spelling
conclusion
cars
on the roads will consequence on
Change preposition
in
traffic
jams. The viable solutions to prevent this
issues
are to encourage Fix the agreement mistake
issue
people
to use public transports
and Fix the agreement mistake
transport
availability
of flexible working Correct article usage
the availability
hours
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider adding linking words or phrases between paragraphs, such as 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' to make the transition smoother.
task achievement
In the paragraph about causes, provide more statistical data or survey results to reinforce the arguments made about why people prefer private cars.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion about traffic congestion in urban areas.
relevant specific examples
You offer specific examples, like the case of Jakarta, to illustrate points, making the essay more relatable and grounded in reality.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!