One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

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One of the major problems faced by many urban areas is
traffic
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jams.
This
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is mainly because many
people
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use their private
cars
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instead
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of public transport in the rush hour. To tackle
this
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problem, governments should promote public
transportations
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transportation
show examples
and they can cooperate with employers to have flexible working
hours
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for their employees. The number of
people
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who
having
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have
show examples
private
cars
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increase
Wrong verb form
is increasing
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significantly year by year and
this
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phenomenon
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not quite popular. They feel more comfortable using their private
cars
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than public
transports
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transport
show examples
because of the flexibility of it.
Additionally
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,
people
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travel to work and go back
to
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apply
show examples
home at the same time on the weekdays.
For example
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, in Jakarta,
a
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the
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capital city of Indonesia, they are
going
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go
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to work usually at 8.30 am and drive
to
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apply
show examples
home at 5.30 pm which
worsening
Wrong verb form
worsens
show examples
the
traffic
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congestion
in
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on
show examples
the roads.
Eventhough
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Even though
there are many available options of trains, buses, and metro, many
people
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prefer to use their own
cars
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in the rush
hours
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. To solve
this
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problem, in my opinion,
thera
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there
are two viable solutions.
Firstly
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, the governments should promote public transport by increasing the quality and the quantity of the services.
Moreover
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, beyond the services, the governments should make sure public
transportations
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transportation
show examples
is cheaper than private
cars
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.
Secondly
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,
policy makers
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policymakers
show examples
can coordinate with employers to arrange flexible working
hours
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or hybrid working
scheme
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schemes
show examples
. Despite preventing the
traffic
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jams, these solutions will reduce
stress
Add an article
the stress
show examples
of the
people
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who live in
metropolis
Correct article usage
the metropolis
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area. In
conlusion
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conclusion
, plenty numbers of private
cars
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on the roads will consequence
on
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in
show examples
traffic
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jams. The viable solutions to prevent
this
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issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
are to encourage
people
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to use public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
and
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
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of flexible working
hours
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.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider adding linking words or phrases between paragraphs, such as 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' to make the transition smoother.
task achievement
In the paragraph about causes, provide more statistical data or survey results to reinforce the arguments made about why people prefer private cars.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion about traffic congestion in urban areas.
relevant specific examples
You offer specific examples, like the case of Jakarta, to illustrate points, making the essay more relatable and grounded in reality.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban population
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • economic strength
  • consumerism
  • car ownership
  • commuting
  • peak hours
  • public transit
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • remote work
  • flexible working hours
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion charges
  • traffic management systems
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