In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
Because of the desire
of earning
more money, many people nowadays are willing to Change preposition
to earn
work
in another
Correct quantifier usage
other
cities
or countries and living
away from their friends and families. That looks like a small deal, but the truth is that issue can lead to a lot of Wrong verb form
live
arguement
about the advantages and Correct your spelling
argument
arguments
disadvantages
, which also
means the necessity of leaving home for a job. In my opinion, the advantages of that development will exist while
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
still
there. They are in a balance.
Certainly, Add a missing verb
are still
go
out for a job is a great opportunity to achieve many goals. For entrepreneurs, as more Wrong verb form
going
labours
, who are flexible in time and place to Correct your spelling
labourers
work
, are entering the market, more companies can easily to
find the one they need, and improve their productivity. Fix the infinitive
apply
For the
governments, especially those in the big Change preposition
The
cities
or rich cities
, will have more and more talented people and then
attract higher
quality of resources, which help a city to get more percentage of Add an article
a higher
scare
sources in the country, and result in a great development. For Correct your spelling
scarce
labours
themselves, they can send the money they earned to their hometown. That can help the whole living standard of a city to slowly Correct your spelling
labourers
growing
up, and as earning more money, they Wrong verb form
grow
also
can get the chance to get more excellent for a
even greater job.
Change the article
an
However
, the disadvantages
can be serious as well. Firstly
, the kids will be lack of companionship. While
kids' parents are out for work
, most of the kids will be left at home and stay with their grandparents. That can do harm to their personalities
Fix the agreement mistake
personality
developing
. What's worse, the old will Replace the word
development
also
lack of taking care. Without a person to deal with basic life issues, their daily life can be even harder. In addition
, for their hometown, it will loss
a lot of Replace the word
lose
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
labours
and lower the economic output of that city. To some degree, that progress will do assistance to the monopoly of big companies in big Correct your spelling
labourers
cities
, leaving even less space for small companies and strat-up
ones.
In conclusion, neither advantages nor Correct your spelling
start-up
disadvantages
can outweigh each other. The improvements are fantastic, but the problems for their hometown cities
are also
serious. We cannot tell that
Correct word choice
whether
this
issue must be
great or not, the only thing Wrong verb form
is
can
be believed is Correct pronoun usage
that can
that is
about personal choices. If choose to work
outside, then
think of ways to solve all of those quetions
or even more as the price of Correct your spelling
questions
higher
level of wages.Add an article
a higher
the higher
Submitted by pitaleung8 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction to guide the reader effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with more relevant and specific examples to effectively support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay with clear paragraphs that build on each other logically, ensuring smooth transitions between points for better coherence.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, recognizing both advantages and disadvantages of the topic which shows a comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, fulfilling the required structure of a well-rounded essay.
task achievement
Your recognition of societal impacts, such as effects on family and economic growth, adds depth to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.