IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Because of the desire
of earning
Change preposition
to earn
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 more money, many people nowadays are willing to
work
Use synonyms
 in
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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cities
Use synonyms
 or countries and
living
Wrong verb form
live
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 away from their friends and families. That looks like a small deal, but the truth is that issue can lead to a lot of
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
arguments
 about the advantages and
disadvantages
Use synonyms
, which
also
Linking Words
 means the necessity of leaving home for a job. In my opinion, the advantages of that development will exist
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 there. They are in a balance. Certainly,
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 out for a job is a great opportunity to achieve many goals. For entrepreneurs, as more
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
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, who are flexible in time and place to
work
Use synonyms
, are entering the market, more companies can easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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find the one they need, and improve their productivity.
For the
Change preposition
The
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 governments, especially those in the big
cities
Use synonyms
 or rich
cities
Use synonyms
, will have more and more talented people and
then
Linking Words
 attract
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 quality of resources, which help a city to get more percentage of
scare
Correct your spelling
scarce
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 sources in the country, and result in a great development. For
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
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 themselves, they can send the money they earned to their hometown. That can help the whole living standard of a city to slowly
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
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 up, and as earning more money, they
also
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 can get the chance to get more excellent for
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 even greater job.
However
Linking Words
, the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 can be serious as well.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the kids will be lack of companionship.
While
Linking Words
 kids' parents are out for
work
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, most of the kids will be left at home and stay with their grandparents. That can do harm to their
personalities
Fix the agreement mistake
personality
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developing
Replace the word
development
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. What's worse, the old will
also
Linking Words
 lack of taking care. Without a person to deal with basic life issues, their daily life can be even harder.
In addition
Linking Words
, for their hometown, it will
loss
Replace the word
lose
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 a lot of
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
 and lower the economic output of that city. To some degree, that progress will do assistance to the monopoly of big companies in big
cities
Use synonyms
, leaving even less space for small companies and
strat-up
Correct your spelling
start-up
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 ones. In conclusion, neither advantages nor
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 can outweigh each other. The improvements are fantastic, but the problems for their hometown
cities
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 serious. We cannot tell
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue
must be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 great or not, the only thing
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 be believed is
that is
Linking Words
 about personal choices. If choose to
work
Use synonyms
 outside,
then
Linking Words
 think of ways to solve all of those
quetions
Correct your spelling
questions
 or even more as the price of
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
 level of wages.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction to guide the reader effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with more relevant and specific examples to effectively support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay with clear paragraphs that build on each other logically, ensuring smooth transitions between points for better coherence.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, recognizing both advantages and disadvantages of the topic which shows a comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, fulfilling the required structure of a well-rounded essay.
task achievement
Your recognition of societal impacts, such as effects on family and economic growth, adds depth to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
What to do next:
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