In some countries an increasing number of children are overweight as a result of eating too much fast food. It is necessary for governments to ban selling this kind of food in schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
An increasing number of
children
in some countries are obese because of consuming too much fast Use synonyms
food
. Some people argue that the government should ban selling fast Use synonyms
food
in Use synonyms
schools
. I completely agree with Use synonyms
this
viewpoint because it will reduce the intake of fast Linking Words
food
among Use synonyms
children
in Use synonyms
schools
, and Use synonyms
children
will find Use synonyms
out
alternative healthy Change preposition
apply
food
options.
The government should ban selling fast Use synonyms
food
in Use synonyms
schools
because it will help to minimize Use synonyms
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
consumption by Use synonyms
children
in Use synonyms
schools
. If Use synonyms
schools
do not sell fast Use synonyms
food
, Use synonyms
children
will not have access Use synonyms
of
those foods, and it will be beneficial for their health. Change preposition
to
Consequently
, obesity and other kinds of diseases will not affect Linking Words
children
anymore. Use synonyms
For example
, in Canada, Linking Words
schools
have banned selling fast Use synonyms
food
items, and it has reduced the chances of suffering from obesity Use synonyms
up
to 65%.
Change preposition
by up
Moreover
, if the government stop selling fast Linking Words
food
items in Use synonyms
schools
, Use synonyms
children
will find Use synonyms
out
alternative Change preposition
apply
food
options. They will try other healthy Use synonyms
food
options, and it will be good for their health. To add to it, Use synonyms
children
will be interested in having homemade Use synonyms
meals
in their school lunch. Having homemade healthy Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
instead
of fast Linking Words
food
will help to reduce the risks of obesity and other serious diseases. Use synonyms
Fo
Correct your spelling
For
rexample
, in Correct your spelling
example
Bagladesh
, all public Correct your spelling
Bangladesh
schools
encourage Use synonyms
children
to have healthy homemade Use synonyms
meals
in their lunch, and it has enhanced the immune systems of Use synonyms
children
.
In conclusion, I agree with the viewpoint that Use synonyms
schools
should ban selling fast Use synonyms
food
. It will reduce the fast Use synonyms
food
consumption by Use synonyms
children
. If fast Use synonyms
food
is banned, Use synonyms
children
will consume alternative healthy homemade Use synonyms
meals
in their lunch.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Ensure the essay presents a balanced approach by introducing a concession or addressing potential counterarguments about banning fast food.
coherence cohesion
Carefully proofread your essay to catch small typos like 'Fo rexample' and 'is banned'.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for a compelling discussion by clearly stating your position.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as those from Canada and Bangladesh, which add credibility to your argument.
logical structure
The essay maintains logical cohesion with a clear progression of ideas from beginning to end.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite