Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadantages?

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These days, the number of local business names is decreasing day by day. These businesses are closing because they can not compete for prizes or they are bought by other big global
companiescompanies
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companies companies
.
Although
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these changes could have some positive effects, In my opinion, their negative effects are much greater than that. There
is
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are
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some advantages of increasing the number of multinational
companies
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while
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the small ones disappear.
One
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of them is people can reach the products lower prizes via the big
companies
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.These multinational
companies
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can get the raw materials much cheaper than the others because they have lots of stores or shops and their orders will cost lower
due to
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the mass production quantity.
For instance
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when a small
coffee
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shop in Turkey orders
coffee
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beans from Guatemala. It has to pay 100-120 $ for each kilogram and sell
one
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cup of
coffee
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for 5 $ but when a global company wants to order
coffee
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beans it can probably get the
one
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kilogram for 60-80 $ so
this
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one
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can sell the
one
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cup of
coffee
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for 3 $.
On the other hand
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,
Although
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the lower prices are beneficial for the customers.
This
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issue has some negative effects on
countries
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countries'
country's
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economies and inflation. When the local businesses close down or buy the global ones, the global company will make the money
instead
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of the local
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one
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ones
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. And
this
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means the current account deficit will increase which is bad for countries. In conclusion, I think the replacement of local businesses
into
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with
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multinational
companies
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has lots of disadvantages , especially for governments, but there are some advantages that should not be ignored.
Submitted by e.yildizhundur on

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coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions for better flow and coherence.
task achievement
Clarify some points for comprehensive ideas, such as more balanced views on advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Good inclusion of specific example about coffee beans, which helps illustrate the argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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