Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadantages?

#businesses #companies #outweigh #disadantages

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These days, the number of local business names is decreasing day by day. These businesses are closing because they can not compete for prizes or they are bought by other big global

companiescompanies

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companies companies

Although

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these changes could have some positive effects, In my opinion, their negative effects are much greater than that. There

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are

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some advantages of increasing the number of multinational

companies

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while

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the small ones disappear.

One

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of them is people can reach the products lower prizes via the big

companies

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.These multinational

companies

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can get the raw materials much cheaper than the others because they have lots of stores or shops and their orders will cost lower

due to

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the mass production quantity.

For instance

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when a small

coffee

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shop in Turkey orders

coffee

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beans from Guatemala. It has to pay 100-120 $ for each kilogram and sell

one

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cup of

coffee

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for 5 $ but when a global company wants to order

coffee

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beans it can probably get the

one

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kilogram for 60-80 $ so

this

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one

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can sell the

one

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cup of

coffee

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for 3 $.

On the other hand

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Although

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the lower prices are beneficial for the customers.

This

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issue has some negative effects on

countries

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countries'

country's

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economies and inflation. When the local businesses close down or buy the global ones, the global company will make the money

instead

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of the local

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one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

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. And

this

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means the current account deficit will increase which is bad for countries. In conclusion, I think the replacement of local businesses

into

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with

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multinational

companies

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has lots of disadvantages , especially for governments, but there are some advantages that should not be ignored.

Submitted by e.yildizhundur on Sat Oct 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve paragraph transitions for better flow and coherence.

task achievement

Clarify some points for comprehensive ideas, such as more balanced views on advantages and disadvantages.

task achievement

Good inclusion of specific example about coffee beans, which helps illustrate the argument.

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important thing to consider. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Now a day the surveillance is happening at almost all public places. Is it good or perceived bad by people? What are advantages and disadvantages?