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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below givesinformation from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The graph below givesinformation from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
#givesinformation #report #consumption #energy #usa #projections
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The graph provides information from a 2008 report on
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of energy in the USA from 1980 to 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
, across
this
Linking Words
 time, petrol and oil
dominant
Add a missing verb
are dominant
show examples
 from other
sources
Use synonyms
 of energy. Natural
gas
Use synonyms
 and coal are
also
Linking Words
 used higher.
While
Linking Words
, nuclear, solar/
wind
Use synonyms
, and
hydropower
Use synonyms
 are relatively very low.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, petrol and oil are used
higher
Correct word choice
more
show examples
 than other
sources
Use synonyms
 of energy. Petrol and oil fluctuated. In 1980, it will be increased from 35qu to 48qu approximately.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, natural
gas
Use synonyms
 and coal stood at second and third position. Natural
gas
Use synonyms
 and coal crisscrossed and overlapped. Natural
gas
Use synonyms
 was 20qu in 1980 and
then
Linking Words
 these
sources
Use synonyms
 will be raised in 2030 with around 25qu.
Whereas
Linking Words
, coal 15qu in 1980 and after it will be increased in 2030 with nearly 28qu. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand, nuclear solar/
wind
Use synonyms
, and
hydropower
Use synonyms
 are relatively low from
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
sources
Use synonyms
. Nuclear, solar/
wind
Use synonyms
 and
hydropower
Use synonyms
 started in 1980 with 4th and
hydropower
Use synonyms
 will same position in 2030. Nuclear and solar/
wind
Use synonyms
 will be increased a little ranges with around 6am and 5am respectively.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, gas, wind, hydropower, qu with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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