The pie charts below describe the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie chart illustrates the change in online shopping sales for retail sectors between 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand.

Overall

Linking Words

, we can see there

are

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show examples

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

change

Fix the agreement mistake

changes

show examples

perfernces

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preferences

preference

the people in New Zealand in all the retail sectors

among

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between

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2003 and 2013, and the most

proporation

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proportion

of change in 2013 was for

books

Use synonyms

and

travel

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. to

beign

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begin

being

with, looking at the information in 2003 the most

perecentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

was in

Use synonyms

travel

Add an article

the travel

show examples

where

Correct word choice

which

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had 36%, and the number transformed decreased in 2013 to 29%,

while

Linking Words

the

books

Use synonyms

increased from 21% in 2003 to 33% in 2013, and

that is

Linking Words

mean the people in New Zealand turns to

books

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instead

Linking Words

of the

travel

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. On the other hand,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

film/music had a slightly rose in 2013 to 22%, the number in 2003 was 19%,

whitin

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while

the clothes

deslined

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declined

to 16% in 2013. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online shopping

Change preposition

for

show examples

books

Use synonyms

and film/music increased unlike

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

travel

Use synonyms

and clothes decreased in 2013.

Submitted by atheer on Sat Oct 19 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, travel with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

158 words

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The pie charts below describe the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

A lot of people who wanted to become professional athletes gave up this idea because of the fear of failure and parents' pressure. Do you think that parents should support their children who want to do a career in sports?

Big family has more benefits than living in small family.

some perants buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantaged for the child of having a large number of toys

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positve or negative situation?

‏In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?