The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#change #people #activities #years #australia #million #summarise #information #features #comparisons

This

table depicts a comparison

five

Change preposition

of five

show examples

types of physical activities in Australia. It is measured by numbers in

millions

from 2001 to 2009.

Overall

, as

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can be clearly seen

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

running was the activity with

greatest

Change the article

the greatest

show examples

rise in the number of people.

Whereas

, cycling was the lowest over the years.

According to

the given data in the following

table

Add a comma

table,

show examples

running started with 1.4

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

in 2001. it increased rapidly to reach a peak of 2.2 million in 2009. Not only that but the change in

this

activity

also

was 156% which is phenomenal.

Whereas

, aerobics began with 1.5 million in 2001. It rose slightly to end up with 1.7

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

in 2009. Tennis started very low with 1

millions

Change to a singular noun

million

show examples

and

end

Wrong verb form

ended

show examples

up with 1.2 million in 2009. Both aerobics and tennis had nearly

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

percentages which were ( 11%-15%) respectively

On the other hand

, both cycling and swimming were nearly similar in the number of people.

However

, both of them began with ( 4.5-3.7) respectively in 2001.

While in

Correct word choice

show examples

the following years, people who

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

cycling dropped more than tennis to end up with ( 3.6-3.3) respectively in 2009.

Submitted by saroooniiq8 on Sat Oct 19 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words millions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

190 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public.Why is this happening?Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.