IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 table depicts a comparison
five
Change preposition
of five
show examples
 types of physical activities in Australia. It is measured by numbers in
millions
Use synonyms
 from 2001 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be clearly seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
running was the activity with
greatest
Change the article
the greatest
show examples
 rise in the number of people.
Whereas
Linking Words
, cycling was the lowest over the years.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data in the following
table
Add a comma
table,
show examples
 running started with 1.4
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2001. it increased rapidly to reach a peak of 2.2 million in 2009. Not only that but the change in
this
Linking Words
 activity
also
Linking Words
 was 156% which is phenomenal.
Whereas
Linking Words
, aerobics began with 1.5 million in 2001. It rose slightly to end up with 1.7
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2009. Tennis started very low with 1
Use synonyms
millions
Change to a singular noun
million
show examples
 and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 up with 1.2 million in 2009. Both aerobics and tennis had nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 percentages which were ( 11%-15%) respectively
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both cycling and swimming were nearly similar in the number of people.
However
Linking Words
, both of them began with ( 4.5-3.7) respectively in 2001.
Linking Words
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 the following years, people who
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 cycling dropped more than tennis to end up with ( 3.6-3.3) respectively in 2009.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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