The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people).

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
table depicts a comparison
five
Change preposition
of five
show examples
types of physical activities in Australia. It is measured by numbers in
millions
from 2001 to 2009.
Overall
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be clearly seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
running was the activity with
greatest
Change the article
the greatest
show examples
rise in the number of people.
Whereas
, cycling was the lowest over the years.
According to
the given data in the following
table
Add a comma
table,
show examples
running started with 1.4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2001. it increased rapidly to reach a peak of 2.2 million in 2009. Not only that but the change in
this
activity
also
was 156% which is phenomenal.
Whereas
, aerobics began with 1.5 million in 2001. It rose slightly to end up with 1.7
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2009. Tennis started very low with 1
millions
Change to a singular noun
million
show examples
and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
up with 1.2 million in 2009. Both aerobics and tennis had nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
percentages which were ( 11%-15%) respectively
On the other hand
, both cycling and swimming were nearly similar in the number of people.
However
, both of them began with ( 4.5-3.7) respectively in 2001.
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
the following years, people who
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
cycling dropped more than tennis to end up with ( 3.6-3.3) respectively in 2009.
Submitted by saroooniiq8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words millions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: