Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can'f afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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In the contemporary materialistic world,
people
Use synonyms
are buying stuff, even if they
does
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do
show examples
not
requires
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require
show examples
and getting
in
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into
show examples
debt.
This
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is a concerning
suituation
Correct your spelling
situation
for many families. In
this
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essay, the causes and solutions of
this
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topic will be illustrated. First and foremost, there are many big companies in the market, offering big deals on festivals and long weekends. When
people
Use synonyms
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
accross
Correct your spelling
across
these sales, they can not resist
themself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from
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apply
show examples
buying stuff
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a cheaper
prices
Use synonyms
than
marked
Correct your spelling
market
show examples
prices
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
people
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end
Use synonyms
up spending more money, than their monthly
budget
Use synonyms
for shopping.
For example
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, Bath and
body
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Body
show examples
exibit
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offers
great offers like buy three get three free, individuals generally need one soap bottle but
end
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up buying six
bottle
Change to a plural noun
bottles
show examples
. They think they have saved money, but
actually
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actually,
show examples
they have spent multiple times more.
When
Correct word choice
Whenever
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ever family
go for
Wrong verb form
goes
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
shopping, they should know their monthly
budget
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. They should only buy stuff they really have planned to buy before they have actually come to market for purchase. By
this
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tequinique
Correct your spelling
technique
, they can analyse their needs and will not spend extra.
Moreover
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, they should know that
,
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apply
show examples
sales
prices
Use synonyms
are the
vertual
Correct your spelling
vertical
prices
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to
manupulate
Correct your spelling
manipulate
customers to sell
thier
Correct your spelling
their
unsold items or to multiply their profits.
For example
Linking Words
, when
Grocerie
Correct your spelling
grocery
stores put sales on items,
people
Use synonyms
end
Use synonyms
up stocking for
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
of months . They should only buy what
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
need and their
budget
Use synonyms
. They need to manage finances
accordingly
Linking Words
, If they have to save
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
from debt.
To conclude
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, it is evident that
people
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are
eassily
Correct your spelling
easily
manupulated
Correct your spelling
manipulated
by offers and
end
Use synonyms
up purchasing more than their
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
budget
Use synonyms
. They should make a list before they come to market and stick with their plan.
Submitted by lovjotsandhu1 on

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coherence and cohesion
Aim for better coherence in your essay by improving the logical flow between your points. Each paragraph should transition smoothly from one to the next.
task response
Ensure your main points are strongly supported with relevant examples and further analysis to reach a higher score.
overall
Proofread for minor errors in grammar and spelling to enhance clarity and make a stronger impact.
coherence and cohesion
You've introduced and concluded your argument effectively, providing a clear structure to your essay.
task response
The essay responds to both parts of the question, identifying causes and suggesting preventive actions on overspending.
task response
You provide specific examples to illustrate your points, making your argument more relatable and understandable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer culture
  • Conform
  • Societal influence
  • Financial literacy
  • Budgeting
  • Interest rates
  • Credit management
  • Impulsive purchases
  • Marketing strategies
  • Aggressive marketing
  • Emotional spending
  • Cope with stress
  • Availability of credit
  • Buy-now-pay-later schemes
  • Cycle of spending
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