Question 30 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Since science and technology are becoming more and more important in modern society, schools should spend more time on teaching these subjects rather than on arts and humanities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, where science and
technology
play increasingly significant roles, there is a growing emphasis on the need for schools to allocate more time and resources towards teaching these subjects.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
this
has caused a debate between those who advocate for
this
viewpoint
argue
Correct word choice
and argue
show examples
that science and
technology
have direct practical applications and job prospects, and are essential for navigating the modern world.
Conversely
, proponents of arts and humanities education assert the importance of these subjects for fostering critical thinking and creativity, arguing that they contribute to a well-rounded education. On one hand, people supporting
this
opinion said that science and
technology
play an indispensable role in the advancement of society.
Firstly
, with the proliferation of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
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we now have machines with various functions. It can now replace some tasks that humans do by relieving people from manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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, reducing the risk of being injured or stressed from overworking.
This
also
promotes global economic development at a startling rate, as many individuals have more leisure time and work less so lending to working efficiency rises. Like the domino effect, if the global economy improves it means that financial problems will diminish and by
that
Add a comma
that,
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the apparent gap between the wealthy and poor countries will be narrowed.
On the other hand
,
arts
Change preposition
in arts
show examples
and humanities, it is argued that students have the chance to gain a better vision of the past and realize how the world has changed. Art is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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food for the soul
as well as
a way to get rid of monotonous tasks for those who are keen on aesthetic aspects. Talking about art, it is a better tool to express thoughts and feelings and some individuals who observe works done by others,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may feel quite related like they have found themselves in those pieces of art which connect people together. In conclusion, both terms are crucial for education so striking a balance between them will help students to improve and develop more comprehensively
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to resolve or better distinguish both sides of the argument for better coherence.
task achievement
Ensure to address all parts of the question thoroughly to achieve a complete task response.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to ensure a logical flow and clearer links between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good framework for the task.
task achievement
The essay makes relevant points supporting both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Argument for the value of arts and humanities is well-supported with examples.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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