IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some claim that children are more aware of environmental issues than older adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that grown-up
persons
Replace the word
people
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 are not as aware as
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
about
Change preposition
of
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 global warming. I totally
agrees
Change the verb form
agree
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 with that statement because youngsters are being taught in school and adults have no
time
Use synonyms
 to look at these matters. On the one hand, These days every school children is being taught about global warming. they learn about
type
Add an article
the type
a type
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 of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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, how chopping more trees
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 us and how to tackle these problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, every young child knows more in detail.
For instance
Linking Words
, In Pakistan,
group
Correct article usage
a group
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 of young children from class eight in Karachi school
,
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apply
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 called
the
Correct article usage
a
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 press conference to aware public about how trees are being chopped in Karachi city, and how it will create problems for
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 generations. They
also
Linking Words
 started
plantation
Correct article usage
a plantation
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 drive to plant as many trees as possible and it was
also
Linking Words
 joined by other institute students as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most of the grown-ups do not even have
time
Use synonyms
for discussing
Change preposition
to discuss
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 these issues. They are working hard to earn a meal for their family, by doing their job day and night. Their salary gets deducted when they take a day off from their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
 their only focus is on one thing.
For example
Linking Words
, In Delhi city of India, people gathered for the global warming awareness program,
however
Linking Words
, when they were interviewed by
media
Correct article usage
the media
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, most of them complained about not being paid to make some
time
Use synonyms
 for these gatherings, and slowly every
peson
Correct your spelling
person
 was leaving,
therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 program was cancelled within 3 days, which was supposed to take place for 10 days.
To conclude
Linking Words
, adults have no
time
Use synonyms
 for these matters because of their priorities,
whereas
Linking Words
, youngsters learn about these issues in their courses, they have more knowledge about it and
also
Linking Words
 have
time
Use synonyms
 to work on it.

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the question, addressing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Ensure consistency in verb agreement (e.g., 'is argued' vs 'agrees').
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear and conveyed comprehensively, but occasionally suffer from grammatical inaccuracies.
coherence and cohesion
The essay can benefit from a stronger logical structure by clearly separating the two viewpoints. Consider using more transition words or phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the main argument of the essay, indicating that children are more aware of environmental issues.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples to support the main points, such as the initiatives taken by children in Karachi.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the essay’s argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Conscious
  • Environmental studies
  • Tech-savvy
  • Firsthand experiences
  • Conservation efforts
  • Activism
  • Sustainable habits
  • Scarcity
  • Practical understanding
  • Incorporates
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