Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It goes without saying that all parents want their children
have
Add the particle
to have
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better
Correct article usage
a better
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future.
That is
why many people today try to provide modern facilities for their families including
TV-sets
Correct your spelling
TV sets
show examples
, even smart TVs, and different gadgets.
However
, spending time watching TV programs and playing computer games by the young causes a controversial question. Personally, I agree that in the world of high-tech
technologies
Add a comma
technologies,
show examples
it is necessary to ,
although
this
phenomenon may have a negative impact on children.
Submitted by galkalialex on

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task response
Your essay includes a clear introduction, but try to fully develop both views on the topic within the body. This will show a well-rounded understanding.
task response
Attempt to provide specific examples or evidence to support both sides of the argument. This helps strengthen your viewpoint and shows thorough task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Structure your ideas logically in the body paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph flows to the next, maintaining clarity and coherence.
task response
Your introduction sets a clear premise and mentions both sides of the argument, which is a strong start to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The sentences are linked, showing an attempt to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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