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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph
illustrares
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the rate of
visitors
 between 1980 and 2015 in four international museums (
Louvre
, Vatican Museums, London
Scinence
Correct your spelling
Science
Museum
 and Shenzhen Meuseim ).
Overall
, looking at the information we can see the
Louvre
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 had the highest
number
 of
visitors
 than the other three museums.
To begin
 with, the
number
 of
visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
 in 1980 was 8
million
 but the
number
 increased to above 9,5
million
 in 2015
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
slightly
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 between 1985 and 2000,
while
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast London Science
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
 until 2015 the rate reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
above 2.1
million
.
However
, the line of
Correct article usage
the vatican
show examples
vatican
Change the capitalization
Vatican
show examples
museum
 rose significantly from 4.5
million
 in 1980 to over 9
million
 in 2015, and the
number
 close to
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
,
also
 Shenzhen
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
witnessed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated, the
number
decline
Replace the word
declining
show examples
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 200,
then
 increased to over 3.8
million
 in 2015.
Submitted by atheer on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, louvre, museum, number, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • trend analysis
  • stability
  • popularity
  • significant changes
  • peak periods
  • low points
  • global tourism trends
  • economic downturns
  • natural disasters
  • tourist patterns
  • dynamic nature
  • factors influencing
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