IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in theilhome town. Do the advantages oflearning a new language in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #language #theilhome #town
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Learning foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 is critical to people. Some of them prefer to travel to another
country
Use synonyms
 to learn their
language
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others choose to stay at home to study. In my view, the benefits of
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
 a
language
Use synonyms
 abroad should be given more importance than the
drawbacks
Use synonyms
.
Their
Replace the word
There
show examples
 might be a range of disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learning new
languages
Use synonyms
 in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
. First of all, travelling
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 could cost much.
Travelers
Change the spelling
Travellers
show examples
 might need to pay for flight tickets, buses and hotels,which might be too expensive for many
language
Use synonyms
 learners. The high expenses might lead to financial difficulties
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 students,
thus
Linking Words
disturb
Wrong verb form
disturbing
show examples
 their learning process.
Additionally
Linking Words
, living in an unfamiliar
country
Use synonyms
cound
Correct your spelling
could
 cause homesickness.
In other words
Linking Words
, travellers might miss their families, friends, food, and climate in their
homecountry
Correct your spelling
home country
, which may
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 them unhappy,
thus
Linking Words
 probably reducing their enthusiasm about learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
drawbacks
Use synonyms
 of learning
languages
Use synonyms
 abroad may hinder the study.
However
Linking Words
, these issues can generally be tackled, and
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 advantages to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 abroad.
Although
Linking Words
 travelling might be expensive, students can find a part-time job to cover their expenses.
Secondly
Linking Words
, learners can make new friends
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
 when they are working and
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
, which will alleviate their loneliness.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
aboad
Correct your spelling
abroad
aboard
 creates a
language
Use synonyms
 environment, where people are able to communicate in another
language
Use synonyms
 frequently, which forces
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
 to use
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, their
language
Use synonyms
 skills will be enhanced.
In contrast
Linking Words
, students who stay at home would not have
such
Linking Words
 an environment.
Consequently
Linking Words
, I believe that these benefits far surpass the
drawbacks
Use synonyms
 of travelling abroad to learn a
foreige
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, though there could be several
drawbacks
Use synonyms
 of travelling abroad for
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
 foreign
languages
Use synonyms
, these difficulties can be addressed, and the benefits are significant.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my view, the advantages of learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 abroad are more important than the disadvantages.
Submitted by dawn140140140140 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'Their' instead of 'There', 'cound' instead of 'could', and 'them' instead of 'make'. Though they are small mistakes, correcting them can enhance clarity.
task response
Provide specific examples or scenarios to illustrate how the benefits and drawbacks affect the language learners. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the thesis and maintains a smooth transition between ideas for better coherence.
task response
The essay provides a clear and direct response to the task, addressing both advantages and disadvantages.
structure
Good introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main argument.
balanced argument
Attempts to balance discussion by presenting both sides - challenges and solutions.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: