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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? give reasons for your answer and relevant examples. for this question

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Introduction
The provision of
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is crucial for the development and well-being of society. Several poor inhabitants cannot afford them,
such
Linking Words
 as
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, I believe that the
government
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 plays a vital role in
this
Linking Words
 situation to please everyone without any discrimination.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that the
government
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 should fund
education
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 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and provide them for free, as
this
Linking Words
 promotes equality and leads to better societal outcomes.
Body paragraph 1
One of the primary reasons for the
government
Use synonyms
's funding of
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is to ensure equality and access for all citizens, regardless of their financial status. Several populations are suffering to afford these public
services
Use synonyms
, particularly old
people
Use synonyms
 and non-regular income as well.
For example
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 may provide these
services
Use synonyms
 at a reasonable price, which is popular among all.
As a result
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 case, individuals can supply medical care to treat their health
as well as
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 for them or for children to build their future.
Body paragraph 2
Additionally
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, universal
services
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 should be the inhabitants' responsibility for economic benefits, particularly the financial aspects.
In other words
Linking Words
, the
government
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 has many responsibilities to provide,
such
Linking Words
 as promoting parks for children, renovating old buildings, and so on. Based on that, they have to pay for learning and Medicare to obtain other possibilities and facilities that can benefit all
people
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
education
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 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 should be the responsibility of the
people
Use synonyms
 to pay for these
services
Use synonyms
 for many reasons,
such
Linking Words
 as equality among all
people
Use synonyms
 to access all without any discrimination
as well as
Linking Words
 for economic benefits.

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task achievement
Ensure that the main argument is consistently clear throughout the essay. The introduction suggests the government should fund these services for free, but this could be clearer in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, specify how free education and healthcare have positively impacted specific countries or communities.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen logical connections between your ideas. For example, make it clearer how governmental funding leads to better societal outcomes.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that frame the argument well, providing a good overview of the writer's stance.
task achievement
There is an attempt to address multiple perspectives, considering both equality and economic responsibilities.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each discussing separate aspects of the topic, which aids in coherence.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equity
  • social justice
  • economic benefits
  • productive workforce
  • quality of life
  • social mobility
  • personal responsibility
  • overuse
  • inefficiencies
  • feasibility
  • implementation challenges
  • sustainable funding
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