The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
There is
an
debate about whether young Change the article
a
people
should be required to attend full-time Use synonyms
education
until they reach the age of 18. Use synonyms
While
some believe Linking Words
this
policy is essential for preparing youth for the Linking Words
future
, others argue that it might not suit everyone. Use synonyms
However
, I still believe that it is necessary to study during childhood and teenage, Linking Words
although
that will be flexible if they're out of school.
First of all, keeping young Linking Words
people
in Use synonyms
education
until 18 provides them with the essential Use synonyms
skills
needed for modern life and work. In today’s world, those basic qualifications cannot fit the labour market's Use synonyms
need
. By staying in school longer, Fix the agreement mistake
needs
students
gain Use synonyms
more
deeper knowledge in the majors they choose and have the opportunity to develop specialized Change the word
apply
skills
that improve their Use synonyms
future
career competitive power. Use synonyms
For instance
, many jobs today require advanced technical Linking Words
skills
, including typing code and software development, or higher Use synonyms
education
degrees. The young who refuse to enter a university will hard to compete with those Use synonyms
have
a Correct pronoun usage
who have
master
degree in computer science.
Change noun form
master's
Moreover
, full-time Linking Words
education
during these years Use synonyms
also
contributes to a person’s social and personal development. The teenage years are the best period when Linking Words
students
learn not only academic knowledge but Use synonyms
also
some soft Linking Words
skills
, Use synonyms
such
as teamwork, communication, and problem-solving. Schools provide an environment that encourages young Linking Words
people
to grow rationally, preparing them to face Use synonyms
future
responsibilities with confidence. Without Use synonyms
this
support, some teenagers may make rush decisions.
Linking Words
However
, sometimes parents will Linking Words
found
that their teenagers are more willing to take practical and physically demanding jobs Wrong verb form
find
such
as public service. Linking Words
As a result
, too much attention on their grades can be useless. So it is easy to tell that educational systems should include different learning styles and career paths. Offering flexible choices Linking Words
such
as part-time Linking Words
education
or specific training could Use synonyms
better
for Add a missing verb
be better
students
who are not suited for academic environments. Use synonyms
This
way, they can still gain valuable Linking Words
skills
without being stuck in a strict system.
In conclusion, I believe that requiring young Use synonyms
people
to remain in full-time Use synonyms
education
until the age of 18 is indeed beneficial, as it provides them with the knowledge and Use synonyms
skills
which are needed for success in modern life. Use synonyms
However
, there should be flexibility in the system Linking Words
to
Change preposition
for
students
who may benefit more from practical Use synonyms
skills
training or other learning ways. By balancing academic and practical Use synonyms
education
, societies can ensure all young Use synonyms
people
can have a successful Use synonyms
future
.Use synonyms
Submitted by pitaleung8 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however, such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, education, future, skills, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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