IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many students live with their families while others go to another city to study at a university

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is studying away from home. It cannot be denied that studying has become an integral part of our lives.
However
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, there is no absolute agreement: some
people
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 believe that leaving home for study or work is useful,
while
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 others have a negative attitude towards everything associated with distance from home. Of course, there are both pros and cons to studying in
cities
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, but I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One of the main advantages of studying in
cities
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 is that it is an amazing opportunity to get a
quality
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 education.
For
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example
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, all over the world, all universities are located in
cities
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, not villages.
Besides
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,
people
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 who work want to earn more money.
Such
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 opportunities exist only in big
cities
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 compared to villages. Another advantage is that young
people
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 live in the city, which gives them the opportunity to be competitive. A good
example
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 here is the quantity and
quality
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 of
people
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 living in
cities
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. In
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cities
Add a comma
cities,
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 we can meet many
people
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such
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 as foreigners. Teenagers often contact them,
encourage
Correct word choice
and encourage
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 their horizons, which gives them good knowledge. Turning to the other side of the argument, we note some shortcomings. One of the drawbacks is living in big
cities
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 without parental control,
this
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 can affect their character and
quality
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 of life on the bad side.
For
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example
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, drug addiction,
thefts
Correct word choice
and thefts
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 occur in big
cities
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. The current of life happening in the city is very strong. Young
people
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 may not go where they want to go, not because they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
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 to. Because there were no
people
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 nearby who would show them the right path,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 their parents. Having considered all the above, we can come to the conclusion that studying in
cities
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 will bring you more advantages than disadvantages. Today, having
quality
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 education,
being
Correct word choice
and being
show examples
 competitive, we get most of them in the city for a good life.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next. Use more varied transition words to enhance the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Develop the counterarguments more deeply and provide specific examples to support them.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and your viewpoint, setting a clear path for the discussion.
task achievement
Each main point addresses a different aspect of the discussion, providing a comprehensive view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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