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Writing Samples
Band 3

Percentage of the population living in cities Percentage of total population

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The line graph compares four regions in
Percentage
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 of total
population
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 over the eighty years time
period
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 between 1970 and 2040
Overall
Linking Words
, The four regions experienced various indicators.
While
Linking Words
 the percentages of living in the Thailand and Philippines fluctuated slowly, the percentages of living in
the
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apply
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Malaysia and Indonesia rose sharply
the
Change preposition
over the
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 time
period
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. As the graph shows, the total
population
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 of
the
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apply
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Indonesia started at 12 in 1970 followed by a small increase to about 16
percent
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 in 1980.
Then
Linking Words
, the figure experienced only growth to approximately 22, 30, 40,
50
Correct word choice
and 50
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percent
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 in the
period
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 between 1980 and 2020. Afterwards,
this
Linking Words
percentage
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 is going to be expected to increase to above 60 by 2040.
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of it will be expected in the 2040.Regarding
the
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apply
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Thailand
Change noun form
Thailand's
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 total
population
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, the figure experienced a small increase to roughly 22
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percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 of
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population
Add an article
the population
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 in 1980.
Then
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Thailand fluctuated between 1970 and 2020. Regarding the
percentage
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 of living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Malaysia,it started at 30
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1970.
Then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend increased to exactly 45
totally
Change the word
total
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population
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 in 1980 and 1990 before witnessing steady growth to about 60 and 72
percent
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 in 2000 and 2010 respectively. As for the Philippines,
this
Linking Words
 figure only experienced fluctuations in the given
period
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 from 1970 to 2020.It will continue with
this
Linking Words
 indicator until 2040.

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introduction conclusion present
Consider adding a conclusion to summarize the main points for the reader.
logical structure
Try using more connectives and transitional devices to guide the reader through your essay smoothly, enhancing coherence.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure consistency and accuracy with the data representation. For instance, recheck growth rates or percentages for clarity.
complete response
The essay captures the main trend of the four regions over the period with appropriate comparative phrases.
logical structure
Good attempt at organizing information, showing how percentages change over time for each country.
supported main points
The fluctuations and trends are highlighted in various regions, indicating some engagement with the specific data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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