IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion

Boarding institutions are supposed to be the superior choice for educators.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 issue is not entirely straightforward, and arguments can
also
Linking Words
 be made against it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on the debate and give a concluding view in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, boarding school provides an excellent study environment to learners, which leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better future. If they are growing in
this
Linking Words
 type of study environment, their chances of success in their career could be at their peak.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, these
insititution
Correct your spelling
institutions
institution
assist pupils in staying away from technology gadgets involving video games or mobile phones. In Sweden, most of NEET clear students were from boarding schools.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 academic scenario can be boosted by their fascination towards academics.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other opponents argue that boarding schools might be responsible for the lack of bonding of pupils with their families .
Finally
Linking Words
, sometimes
this
Linking Words
 type of situation can cause mental stability because they solely focus on studying the whole time even without getting involved in outdoor activities. An example can be seen in India, where most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to educate their children in boarding schools,
Linking Words
whereas
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 they are unable to utilize their most precious moments with them. It seems advisable that
although
Linking Words
, boarding institutions can lead to a better future for educators ,
however
Linking Words
 staying away from family for the longer term would be the result of the lack of mutual bonding between them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points logically follow from one another. Consider using more linking words to demonstrate connections between ideas clearly.
Task Achievement
While your response covers both sides of the debate, it would benefit from more concrete examples or statistics to support claims and arguments. This would help in making your ideas more convincing and tangible.
General Language Use
Avoid repetition and aim for a diverse vocabulary that precisely conveys your message. Proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph aligns with a clear part of the task: presenting both sides of the boarding school debate and providing a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly delineate the structure of your response, making it easy for readers to follow.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully acknowledges and explores multiple perspectives on the issue, fulfilling the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured environment
  • holistic development
  • extracurricular activities
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • navigating social interactions
  • academic facilities
  • emotional development
  • isolation
  • socioeconomic divisions
  • strict regime
  • creativity and individuality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: