Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A highly controversial issue today relates to whether
listen
Fix the infinitive
to listen
show examples
to the
parents
Use synonyms
when choosing a career or not. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I am going to examine
this
Linking Words
ambiguous statement from both points of view. Vast of people report that teenagers should take into account their parent’s opinion about future jobs. The primary reason for considering
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
is that
parents
Use synonyms
are older
therefore
Linking Words
they have wide life experience. One vivid example of
this
Linking Words
is
for example
Linking Words
a girl who
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to be an actress.
However
Linking Words
, she looks at
this
Linking Words
job through rose-tinted glasses. She doesn’t expect
this
Linking Words
profession to be highly complex. Her
parents
Use synonyms
though know how hard it is to become a successful actress. And
this
Linking Words
girl can choose
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
profession connected to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art but with
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
salary.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others, so am I, believe that choosing a job should solely
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
on a person.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
of people have
this
Linking Words
exact opinion
due to
Linking Words
the fact that unless you try you will not know. A particularly outstanding example can be observed in the situation with my uncle. By the
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
from his
parents
Use synonyms
he went to medical university.
However
Linking Words
, when he grew up he regrets that he did not try to become a singer.
This
Linking Words
was his dream that never came true. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I am absolutely sure that the choice of future career should solely lie on a person. The reason for
that is
Linking Words
independence. Everyone should learn
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
mistakes through their own experience.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Enhance your essay by including more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Some of your ideas could be expanded further to provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task. Consider developing some of your points more thoroughly.
language accuracy
Proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrases can enhance clarity. For instance, 'vast of people' should be 'a vast number of people'.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion summarizing the writer's stance.
task achievement
The examples provided (such as the girl wanting to be an actress and the uncle who regrets not pursuing singing) help to illustrate the points made in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • life experience
  • emotional support
  • practical guidance
  • personal growth
  • self-discovery
  • self-reliance
  • personal satisfaction
  • ownership
  • values and expectations
  • preferences and passions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: