Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
A highly controversial issue today relates to whether
listen
to the Fix the infinitive
to listen
parents
when choosing a career or not. In Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
essay
I am going to examine Add a comma
essay,
this
ambiguous statement from both points of view.
Vast of people report that teenagers should take into account their parent’s opinion about future jobs. The primary reason for considering Linking Words
like
Change preposition
apply
this
is that Linking Words
parents
are older Use synonyms
therefore
they have wide life experience. One vivid example of Linking Words
this
is Linking Words
for example
a girl who Linking Words
want
to be an actress. Change the verb form
wants
However
, she looks at Linking Words
this
job through rose-tinted glasses. She doesn’t expect Linking Words
this
profession to be highly complex. Her Linking Words
parents
though know how hard it is to become a successful actress. And Use synonyms
this
girl can choose Linking Words
other
profession connected to Correct quantifier usage
another
the
art but with Correct article usage
apply
higher
salary.
Add an article
a higher
the higher
On the other hand
, others, so am I, believe that choosing a job should solely Linking Words
depends
on a person. Change the verb form
depend
Majority
of people have Correct article usage
The majority
this
exact opinion Linking Words
due to
the fact that unless you try you will not know. A particularly outstanding example can be observed in the situation with my uncle. By the Linking Words
advise
from his Replace the word
advice
parents
he went to medical university. Use synonyms
However
, when he grew up he regrets that he did not try to become a singer. Linking Words
This
was his dream that never came true.
In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, I am absolutely sure that the choice of future career should solely lie on a person. The reason for Linking Words
that is
independence. Everyone should learn Linking Words
their
mistakes through their own experience.Change preposition
from their
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task achievement
Enhance your essay by including more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Some of your ideas could be expanded further to provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task. Consider developing some of your points more thoroughly.
language accuracy
Proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrases can enhance clarity. For instance, 'vast of people' should be 'a vast number of people'.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion summarizing the writer's stance.
task achievement
The examples provided (such as the girl wanting to be an actress and the uncle who regrets not pursuing singing) help to illustrate the points made in the essay.