In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology is growing up,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

companies

Use synonyms

are trying to advertise their

products

Use synonyms

in a sensational way, and it is crucial that they emphasize that their

products

Use synonyms

are new and better compared to other

companies

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

sort of competition in the advertising

industries

Fix the agreement mistake

industry

show examples

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

development and a healthy way to grow up

their

Change the word

the

show examples

company. Advertising pros of their

products

Use synonyms

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

a key role in

business

Add an article

the business

show examples

world. A ton of merchandise is coming out every single day. And

this

Linking Words

kind of development can help a competitive

product

Use synonyms

come out.

For instance

Linking Words

, Samsung and

Apple

Use synonyms

are in a rival relationship, and people always compare those two

Use synonyms

companies

Change noun form

companies'

company's

show examples

products

Use synonyms

. And

this

Linking Words

competition helps improve their

product

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

. To sell their

products

Use synonyms

more than rivals,

companies

Use synonyms

are always trying to make more vivid, rich, and competitive advertising to emphasise their merchandise. And proper advertising increases their

profit

Use synonyms

. The second reason why I think that

Use synonyms

that emphasizes their

product

Use synonyms

has a positive side is that the advertising makes the image of the

product

Use synonyms

and company.

Also

Linking Words

, it can enhance their

profit

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

Apple

Use synonyms

always emphasises their

products

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as the iPhone,

Apple

Use synonyms

Watch, and

IMac

Fix capitalization

iMac

show examples

. Despite the high pricing, people don't hesitate to purchase it. Of course, some people think it is an exaggeration

Use synonyms

. But still, it makes money for

Apple

Use synonyms

from now on.

Therefore

Linking Words

, advertisements can improve their

profit

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, many

companies

Use synonyms

should be adapting the

Use synonyms

in a proper way to improve their

profit

Use synonyms

. For those reasons, I believe that advertisements that emphasize their

products

Use synonyms

are a positive development of

this

Linking Words

industry.

Submitted by oyj1798 on Thu Oct 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Ensure to fully address all parts of the task. Consider including a more explicit discussion on why businesses focus on 'newness' in their advertising, as well as potentially balancing both the positive and negative aspects of this development.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve clarity and cohesion, use linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs. This will help readers follow your argument more smoothly.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and a clear conclusion that support the main argument.

Task Achievement

Good use of examples, such as the comparison between Apple and Samsung, to reinforce points made.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

emphasise
advertising
products
innovation
competitive strategy
consumer dissatisfaction
value

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some university students are passionate about learning additional subjects along with their main subjects. Meanwhile, others are convinced that it is better to focus mostly on their qualification studies. In my opinion, it is good to be an all-rounder and learn as much as possible and be a well-read person for your own sake. On the other hand, it might be tough to learn multiple things at once, and you will probably burn out quickly.
<4
band
These days, in many counties fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?
fewer people want to become teachers because the salary is not big as the other job. teacher in secondary school have small sallary than high school or promarry school. many people chose to do another job rather than as a teacher. to solve the problem, the goverment must make a regulation to increase the salary of theacer. that tragulation can make people interest to work as teacher.
8.5
band
Your Local Travel Agent Recommended A Place To Visit And You Are Now Having A Good Time There. Write A Letter To Your Travel Agent And Tell Them The Following: – What You Have Been Doing – What You Hope To Do Before The End Of Your Holiday – Say Why You Like This Place
I am writing to you as promised in order to share my holiday experience, so far.
6.5
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Taking risks is a crucial and common thing in our life whether is in a job or in our daily activities. In this essay, I will explain why risk-taking is substantial in this life.
5.5
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Some individuals believe that the acquisition of another speech is only for traveling or getting a job in a foreign country. Whereas others agree that this is not the only reason. I will discuss both views in this essay and I strongly agree with the latter idea because it is also needed for higher education and some businesses.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, in many counties fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

Your Local Travel Agent Recommended A Place To Visit And You Are Now Having A Good Time There. Write A Letter To Your Travel Agent And Tell Them The Following: – What You Have Been Doing – What You Hope To Do Before The End Of Your Holiday – Say Why You Like This Place

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion