Fresh water has become the global problem for world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and individual should take to resolve to the problem? Give reasons and e.g. for your answer.

In the modern era, the world is getting polluted especially, a
water
resources like
river
water
. There are many
people
spoiling the environment
as well as
human lives. There is a plethora of problem factors
such
as
people
dumping waste in rivers
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and deforesting the
trees
and it reflects a global issue. In
this
essay, we will discuss
this
topic with elaboration.
To begin
with,
people
dispose of their dumps to the
river
directly which is affecting our environment
as well as
the fresh
water
.
For instance
, plastics or non-decompose things could be more dangerous for humans but unfortunately,
people
drink
water
with chemical materials.
Additionally
, deforesting
trees
comes with rainless conditions and it will suffer the human’s life.
Moreover
,
this
kind of
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
show examples
leads to poverty and world war. To ignore
this
issue there is the solution as given below.
On the other hand
, the government should take proper action to avoid dumps in the
river
water
, they need to encourage
people
to carry the waste and segregate them to recycle as products.
For example
,
people
dispose the plastic bottles to the person who makes glasses,
this
kind of individual activity gives more confidence to others.
Apart from
this
, deforesting the
trees
should be strictly prohibited by the government, they should take immediate action who makes against them. As mentioned above reasons should be to save the
river
water
and it will not be a global issue
To conclude
, in our modern world there are some difficulties with having fresh
water
such
as dumping waste into the
river
, deforesting the
trees
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
more effects on the environment but the government should urge
people
to avoid cutting
trees
and
also
recycling plastics could be good one,
this
kind of actions to save the
water
resources and it could be big use in our worlds
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

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Task Response
Try to further develop your ideas. For example, when you mention how plastics affect human lives, you could expand on the specific health impacts or provide statistical data for a more convincing argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. This will enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples or case studies to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and concrete. For instance, mention specific countries or regions where deforestation has significantly impacted water resources.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure connections are made between ideas to reinforce main points and transitions. Phrases such as 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently' can help here.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the problem and solutions discussed.
Task Response
You have acknowledged a variety of causes and solutions related to the fresh water problem, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

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