14. A college asked its graduates to give a speech to current students about their professional careers and future opportunities. You would like to participate. Write a letter and say What do you want to talk about? Why do you think students will be interested in it Suggest a suitable date and time for your speech.

My name is Upinder Kaur and I graduated from your

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

last

Linking Words

year. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to inform you that it would be my pleasure to give

speech

Add an article

a speech

show examples

about

this

Linking Words

college and

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

opportunities in

Correct pronoun usage

my carrier

show examples

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

show examples

. After completing study

from

Change preposition

show examples

your

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

, I applied for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

job

Use synonyms

in the biggest company

Change preposition

show examples

our city. Later on, they hired me as a manager of

housekeeping

Add an article

the housekeeping

show examples

department.

Therefore

Linking Words

I will explain my journey from

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

Use synonyms

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

undergraduates

Fix the agreement mistake

undergraduate

show examples

Morener

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, I will encourage them to take part in different activities

along with

Linking Words

required

Correct article usage

the required

show examples

programs. Students would be very

interesting

Replace the word

interested

show examples

If I

inform

Wrong verb form

informed

show examples

them

all

Change preposition

of all

show examples

the barriers that are faced

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

looking for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

job

Use synonyms

. They can be aware of all the problems that I faced

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when I was a student.

Due to

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

schedule, It is hard for me

deliver

Add the particle

to deliver

show examples

my speech on weekdays. Luckily, My

vacations

Fix the agreement mistake

vacation

show examples

has been approved by the director which starts from November 1 to November 15. Please inform me what time and date is suitable for you all

soon

Rephrase

as soon

show examples

as possible so that I can prepare myself for it.

your

Correct the word

yours

show examples

sincerely, Upinder Kaur

upinder7696

Oct 26, 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider organizing the content in clear paragraphs to represent separate ideas clearly, which will enhance readability.

Task Achievement

Ensure all parts of your letter are consistently in a formal tone since you are addressing the college administration.

Greeting and Closing

The letter has a personable and warm greeting and closing, which gives it a nice touch while remaining formal.

Task Achievement

The main purpose of the letter - volunteering to give a speech - is clearly stated and well-explained with personal experiences and motivations.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

193 words

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The Greeting

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