The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

#percentage #children #countries #ten #years #effects #trend #offer

western

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Western

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countries, the percentage of obese

children

has increased

around

Change preposition

by around

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20% in the

last

decade. The causes of

obesity

among

children

are

that

Correct determiner usage

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sedentary lifestyle

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apply

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and consumption of fast food. The effects of

obesity

are

that

Correct determiner usage

the

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development of diseases

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apply

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and minimized physical activities.

Sedentary

Add an article

A sedentary

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lifestyle is the primary cause of

obesity

among

children

Children

do not want to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

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in physical movements.

Children

prefer to sit in their homes all day

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apply

show examples

and watch electronic devices. The second reason for being overweight is consumption of fast food.

Children

are not interested in having homemade foods, which are nutritious. They are addicted to fast foods with excessive oils and spices, which causes

obesity

problems among them.

For example

, around 56% of teenagers in Australia, mainly depend on hamburgers and french fries for their school lunch. One of the biggest effects of

obesity

children

suffer from several diseases.

Obesity

causes hypertension, diabetes,

heart

Correct word choice

and heart

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problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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an early stages

Correct the article-noun agreement

an early stage

early stages

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of their lives.

Furthermore

obesity

minumizes

Correct your spelling

minimises

their physical activities. They cannot move their bodies properly and cannot be able to perform physical labour or any hard work, which impacts their daily lives.

For instance

children

in the USA, nowadays, do not take part in sports competitions because

their

Correct your spelling

they are

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overweight do not allow them. In conclusion,

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

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consumption and

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle increase

obesity

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

among

children

. Being overweight hinders the daily movements of

children

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and their physical health.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Sat Oct 26 2024

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Task response

Expand on the topic with more examples and explanations, making sure all points are clearly connected to the main theme.

Coherence and cohesion

Make sure each idea is clearly linked to the next, using a variety of cohesive devices.

Task response

Go deeper into the effects of obesity on children's personal and social lives.

Coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.

Task response

The essay identifies key causes of childhood obesity and illustrates them with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
nutritional value
screen time
socio-economic factors
chronic diseases
self-esteem
bullying
financial burden
promote healthy eating
physical activity
whole grains
education and awareness
policy and regulation
subsidies
fast food
obesity-related conditions

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The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits in society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the advantages?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people believe, more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done.

In recent times, many people are making the decision to leave alone.what are the causes of this? Does iit have positive or negative impact on society