IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others belive that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #study #belive #subjects #future #science #technology
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One of the important
choice
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choices
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 everyone makes is which
subject
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 to
study
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. The chosen
subject
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 has a great impact
in
Change preposition
on
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 the trajectory of
everyone
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everyone's
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 life.
While
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 some believe that students need to concentrate on how useful the
subject
Use synonyms
 is, others think that they need to follow their passion. I believe that students have to think about their future and
study
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 that can be beneficial for them. There is a
peramount
Correct your spelling
paramount
impotance
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importance
 of what we choose to
study
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,
therefore
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 it
need
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needs
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 to
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
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 with much caution and consideration.
First
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First,
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 a degree is most likely to take 3 years to finish,
thus
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 it is not something we can
easely
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easily
 do again, second most of the time is
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
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 thereby
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to
take
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taking
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 a loan.
Therefore
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 many students find themselves graduating with a deep debt they need to return, and those who choose a
non useful
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non-useful
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 degree will have
harder
Correct article usage
a harder
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 to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 so.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 when they have their own family, they will want to give them the best education
which
Correct word choice
and
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 having money is imperative.
However
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, following your passion is
essencial
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essential
 for great success, people who follow their desire are increasing their
chance
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chances
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to
Change preposition
of
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 success,
compered
Correct your spelling
compared
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 to people
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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 money and status
leaded
Wrong verb form
lead
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 them.
therefore
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 choosing to
study
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 subjects based
soley
Correct your spelling
solely
 on its
advanges
Correct your spelling
advantages
advances
 in the future significantly
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the risk
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 depression and
quiting
Correct your spelling
quitting
.
To sum up
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, I believe that people need to choose their diploma based on its usefulness but at the same time be aware that it can lead to obstacles and
difficulities
Correct your spelling
difficulties
 in the future.
Submitted by dahielomer2 on

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task achievement
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task achievement
Work on ensuring that your ideas are expressed more clearly and are comprehensive. This means ensuring your sentences convey complete thoughts without ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by enhancing the logical flow between ideas. Consider using transitional phrases more effectively to connect different sections of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and expand your paragraphs to ensure each one supports a single idea relating back to your thesis. This will strengthen coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively bookend the discussion.
logical structure
The main points are well-supported and logically structured, making the argument stronger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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