IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays many families moves overseas for job opportunities. Some people think its beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
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 are correct. There are no problems, if these families are ready in terms of preparation for
relocation
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
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, it will be simply for them to get settled there, depending on the preparation level.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 would be less prepared, compared to adults, it's related to a misunderstanding of a majority of
children
Use synonyms
, what a
relocation
Use synonyms
 is. More likely, parents will explain
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 the main idea of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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moving, like better life conditions,
such
Linking Words
 as beautiful nature, advanced and modern architecture,
good
Add an article
the good
a good
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 policy of
state
Add an article
the state
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, and improved education opportunities. If
children
Use synonyms
 were interested in it, they would
necessary
Change the adjective
necessarily
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 get started preparing,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 it would be a language school, for better integration in society.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
children
Use synonyms
 aren't ready for these actions like
move
Change the verb form
moving
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 overseas, or something similar. Perhaps, they find the country they live in suitable for them, so that it is obvious, that
relocation
Use synonyms
 is undesirable for
such
Linking Words
 adolescents. For sure, it could be negotiated and solved, in order to find trade-offs,
although
Linking Words
 some
children
Use synonyms
 one way or another would avoid
that discussions
Change the determiner
that discussion
those discussions
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. In conclusion, it could be said that
relocation
Use synonyms
 might be useful to get improved life conditions, but it requires
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good preparation from both
children
Use synonyms
 and their parents, to have
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 start in
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
.

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task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the contrasting views presented in the essay to showcase a deeper understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure with more explicit transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a balanced introduction and conclusion, which effectively address the question.
task achievement
You acknowledge both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exposure
  • adaptability
  • open-mindedness
  • job market
  • academic opportunities
  • cultural barriers
  • homesickness
  • adjusting
  • isolation
  • emotional toll
  • anxiety
  • security
  • career prospects
  • social skills
  • diverse backgrounds
What to do next:
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